Monday, November 21, 2016

Uhgh... I hate this part...

Not a peep out of Gingersnap yesterday.

I might be on an emotional downswing from lack of sleep and backing off on my mood stabilizers.

Please Note: I also take blood thinners, the mood stabilizers were causing my clotting disorder to fluctuate to a dangerously high risk of blood clots. So, I backed off on the mood stabilizers in an effort to normalize out the efficiency of my blood thinners.

I woke up thinking about putting Gingersnap in the 72-hour no-contact hold. Where I don't reach out to him for three whole days and if I don't receive a message from him, I give up.

That's give up as in 'stop feeling'.

*sigh*

Today I feel like I let my emotions get away from me yesterday. But, the positive side effect of those emotions is that I'm back on track with my health and weight loss goals. I upped my yoga and fitness routines and I actually started tracking my calories again this morning.

So… conundrum time…

When it was Mahogany, I was willing to accept that it wasn't going to go anywhere. Hell, I even feel that way about the Dragon most of the time. I still *used* the emotional upswing to propel myself forward. So, if that's all Gingersnap turns out to be, that's not so bad, right?

*dusts off shoulder*


Yeah. I've been here before. 

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