So, here's where we are. Some fucked up bitch almost ended my marriage. A karma-fuck-bomb was dropped but because it was a BOMB, I got hit too.
I was promised by the witch that dropped the bomb that I would be okay. I would have a soft place to land and I would be a much healthier and well adjusted person in the end.
I've been living alone for just over a month now. Bran is currently away on an extended work thing and won't be back until the spring. (yes, it hurts like hell)
However, I've been acquiring a cache of 'Sweeties' to pass the time and give me some much needed male sexual energy to feast off of so I can engage my self-repair, resiliency, and coping mechanisms.
A sweetie is defined as 'more than NSA' but 'less than boyfriend'. They fall into that sweet spot, right in the middle, where there is a deep friendship and connection, but we're still not super serious and we see other people.
The four precepts of what a sweetie must provide are 1) good company, 2) good conversation, 3) good snuggles, and 4) good sex.
The current sweeties (in order of appearance):
He's actually been with me since February of this year. But, due to time constraints, we've only ever actually been on *ONE* date. However, the results of that date were phenomenal. When that dick head broke me, he separated me entirely from the part of me that was the goddess. When I crawled back out of that abyss, all broken and bleeding, wings torn to shit, the goddess was left behind. She was still down in that dank, stinking hole, and there was NOTHING I could do about it. I sucked it up. I moved on. I resigned myself to never feeling her inside me again.
Well!
20 minutes making out in the front seat of the Dragon's car, and he single handedly pulled her out and gave her back to me.
*cough*ahem!* WOW.
So, even though that second date hasn't happened yet, I know it will. I adore the fuck out of him and I can't wait to see him again. I will be patient with him forever and it could be the end of days and I'd still have a spot reserved for him in my bed.
He and I had also been chatting since late winter / early spring. Oh... he was one of the ones that got away because I wasn't allowed to host a guest at the time and he wasn't able to host either. But he decided to check in on me anyway. No lie, he checked in, down to the second, just as I was moving into my own place - alone - and with free license to host anyone I damn fucking well pleased.
He's been amazing, and the first person (since the breaking) that has actually made it to THREE dates!!
He also helped me on another level. I've been wanting to try double penetration for awhile now, but I had to get over my aversion to anal sex to get there. Gramarye is an anal MASTER. He got me to love it in just a few short hours. Totally amazing!!
Recent addition. Lately I've had a LOT of one night stands with potential sweeties before they completely ghost me. I've been so good at restraining my emotional attachments until the second date, at least, before letting someone get closer to my heart than they are to my mind and body.
Daddy though, yeah, I couldn't hold back with him. He was so passionate and I just fell. Hard.
However, due to transportation woes, I won't be seeing him again until he buys another car. It's frustrating, but I'm not ghosted, so once again I can be patient here.
OMG... so... yeah... totally the reason why I started writing again. He's utterly devoured absolutely everything I've put in front of him and begged for more. I love it! It really inspires me to write... a LOT! I've been averaging 1K in 30 minutes!!
We had our first date last night and it went better than I could ever have hoped for in my wildest dreams. I'm utterly besotted today. That was seriously some of the best sex I've ever had. That's where he totally has ME begging for more, LOL.
He makes me feel safe, protected, and worshiped. I'm SORE today, in best possible ways. I can't wait to see him again.
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Honorable Mentions:
Ash:
He only stayed for an hour before deciding I wasn't for him. But he was nice enough to let me know that he just wasn't feeling it.
Ouch... I mean, that one stung. But, even I will admit that it only stung for superficial reasons.
He was fucking drop dead gorgeous. I would have loved to have tapped that well completely dry.
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So, there it is...
I've been keeping a private journal to track my ups and downs. But Gingersnap has inspired me to blog a bit more about my current events and mental health issues and wellness.
OH!
I should also mention that he's the FIRST PERSON EVER that I've come out to right away and told him about the Borderline Personality Disorder. So, that was cool. He was really not phased by it.
LOL... he doesn't know about my multiple personalities though, yet. Kinda wondering how he'll take that news.
Okay... done now... stop babbling and post the damn thing already.
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