Some days I really do just need to cuddle.

Recent events have me musing a bit about my identity as a Proud Cougar.

Like... when did I really even start down this path of only accepting younger lovers?

It was after Set. (5 years ago, give or take.)

He was about seven years my senior, and we all know how that worked out... I haven't really been able to look at anyone older since.

And yet, I'm also acutely aware that Set was just the catalyst.

There was always a lot more to my Cougar Mind than avoiding anything that could remind me of Set.

Mostly it boiled down to who I am as the Virgin Goddess, though. (different than my Shadow Goddess side) It was recognizing who and what I am as a healer and as a teacher. It was about coming fully into my own as a Sex Mage.

When I was just getting started out in my self-education as a Sex Mage, I had two very special teachers that I learned the most from. At the time that I learned so much from them, they were older than me. However, the biggest reasons the both of them were so amazingly skilled was because they'd both gotten early starts.

Both of my greatest teachers had been taken in by Cougars when they were barely legal as lovers.

They learned from those women... a lot...

And, I guess, after Set it all just sort of fell into place.

He'd been my first charge as a Sex Mage and as a Virgin Goddess Healer. Then he disregarded all of that work and destroyed it, but I still learned more about myself and my technique from him. He'd still advanced me, even if he'd thrown it all away and regressed himself.

And, I don't know, I guess I just sort of had some kind of an epiphany in there somewhere.

I recognized the Virgin Goddesses in the women who had taught my teachers so much... and I realized it was up to me to be the next link in that chain.

I realized it was my job to pass on that kind of information about love, healing, energy, intimacy, joy, peace, and sex to the next generation of great lovers.

With any great luck, I've impacted the lives of some people.

*sigh*

But, mostly?

I've just been a Cougar Fantasy Hookup.

That saddens me.

People just don't respect the old ways anymore.

This next generation of young men is practically emotionally bankrupt by how much the world around them has desensitized them to intimacy.

(shrug) I guess I'm starting to let it go a little bit.

I'm starting to focus more on me and what I can do for me.

I'm still meeting some awesome, younger lovers.

It's just finding the ones who won't objectify me that's the hard part.

I am not a hookup.

I am a fucking Goddess.

People would do well to heed that.

(grin)

I'm a Goddess who FUCKS!

Really, though?

With all that objectification that I get, day in, day out?

Seriously?

Some days I don't give a flying fuck about sex.

Some days I really do just need to cuddle.

Seems like no one understands the separation between sex and intimacy anymore.

Family:

- Spawn -  We have a really big day ahead!! As soon as I've posted/showered/packed - we're on our way to Nolan's!! I'm VERY excited for the Spawn to meet Nolan! Tonight is a game night too!

Big day. Very big day!

Sweeties:

  - Hannah-Cat -  My little sex kitten was revving at full speed yesterday! My goodness!

She even told me I could quote her on a few things. So, here are some prime examples of where her head was at yesterday:

"Hannah-Cat and Drogo want to leave our marks on your sweet soft delicious skin. To send you into a world of pure euphoria. The Dominating touch of a strong man and the sexy touch of a queer woman."  [Insert Unicorn squeeeeeeeeee]

"I want you... Face down, ass up, so you're 100% exposed and at the hand of kitten, all mine, legs spread, kitty kat at that pussy of yours... Playing peek a boo with me from the back, of course after I get you dripping down wet. I can lick up with every last drop."

Later in the evening, she said this:

"You're a queen. I'm so fucking into you. It turns me on so damn fucking much to think you're mine. I'm your girl and it's only for me to push your boundaries."

And, she's absolutely right.

I'm hers.

She's my girl-cub... I only belong to her in that regard.

She's my one exception when it comes to a little sexual objectification. It's such an honor to be this for her... to be her Cougar... but also to be an 'untouched' Cougar for her.

My fem/fem sexuality is unexplored territory.

She's the one who gets to break those barriers.

I'm the one who gets to let her.

This makes me happy in ways you can't imagine.

Cuddles [TCN =Temporary Code Name]

 - People -

     - Nolan -  I am typing fast to get this up and get my ass moving today... it's like 2-hours by bus to get out to Nolan's and I don't want to keep him waiting forever.

     - Drogo -  I love it that Drogo will drop me a note to tell me that Hannah-Cat is off napping with Little Bean and that way I know she's not ignoring me or anything. It's seriously one of the best parts of being with a couple... they'll shoot updates on what the other is up to.

We weren't much for small talk, though. He was gaming while Little Bean was asleep and I didn't want to disturb his relaxation time, so I let him go. It was still super sweet that he checked in on me, though.

(so many floaty hearts)

Potential(s) [TCN =Temporary Code Name]

 - TCN:Kobe -  There was a little small talk there over the weekend... nothing too earth-shattering... (shrug)

Friends:

 - Elliot & Brielle -  SUPER excited about fireworks!! - I have a box of gingerbread cake mix... I think I'll bring gingerbread!

Tales from the Accidental Unicorn: [Disclaimer: This is still my blog, and my primary source of soundboarding my emotions and complex thoughts. So, no pressure! I still just need a place to get this out in the open so I can sort it out in my head.]

Omg omg omg omg omg... I was treated to a cuddly pic yesterday... and Hannah-Cat said the only thing missing was me... (clutches heart) srsly... what I wouldn't give. Cuddling the two of them at the same time would be like... total bliss overload...

Drogo is ... well... he has this ... 'presence' about him.

It's one thing to cuddle other mages who can speak to the gods at my same level of familiarity with them.

It's an entirely different thing to cuddle a fellow God.

Drogo makes me feel 'less alone' because he can meet me at my same level of divinity (whether he's ready to admit his divinity to himself, yet, or not.)

And then, fucking Hannah-Cat, oh hell... how this woman has completely captured me. Mind, body, spirit, and soul... she has my heart. She calls me her Queen, and yet she's the one who rules over me.

Like I said, total bliss overload with just the cuddles...

More than that and I'd hit my pleasure threshold pretty fucking fast.

We're going to have to take a lot of cuddle breaks while we're working on building up my pleasure tolerance.

AHHHHH!!!!

(SO MANY FLOATY HEARTS)

End Notes:  

This.

See this?

This is me wrapping this the fuck up so the Spawn and I can get going!!