It's always been about Primal pleasure...

You might recall my mentioning that I was coming to grips with the fact that I have always been Primal:prey.

This isn't exactly easy information to assimilate.

This means that the D/s lifestyle was a part of me, way back into my early childhood. Ever since I've been able to develop childhood crushes on fictional characters, this has been a part of me.

I've always wanted to be obsessed over.

I've always wanted to be taken.

I've always wanted someone who would cross boundaries of consent just to have me.

I've always craved this.

My earliest memory of this was when I was in the fifth grade and the original Voltron was one of my most favorite cartoon shows.

It was Prince Lotor's obsession with Alura that got to me. His never-ending quest to capture her and to have her. To somehow force her to fall in love with him.

I wanted to be her.

I wouldn't have resisted him nearly as hard as she did.

The fantasy escalated in Middle School...

It was Jareth's obsession with Sarah that got to me then. How he had given her powers, but she couldn't see that the greatest power he'd granted her was over his heart. I mean yeah, he had a fucked up way of showing love, but that was just his style. It doesn't take away from the fact that he did love her. And, in the end, he sacrificed all his power just to make her happy. Even though that happiness didn't include a life with him.

Again... I wouldn't have resisted nearly as hard as she did.

Now, this has evolved into my own elaborate fantasies.

When it's the ones that involve me, there are violations of consent... but, again, that's just the fantasy. In reality, the consent would be worked out well beforehand.

Honestly, though? I don't see it being that much of an issue. The fantasies involving me are never about hurting me. No damage is ever done. They're only about taking me and having me. Holding me down and passionately ravishing me.

It's always been about Primal pleasure...

That's always been the hardest part to explain to anyone when I bring up the Con/Non-Con stuff... they always assume the worst.

(sigh)

Relax...

I only want to feel wanted.

So badly that it's become a Need, Take, Have situation.

Voltron:

  - Green Paladin: Nolan -  UGH! Yesterday was my cuddle date with Nolan and I had it all planned out where I was actually going to get to him at a decent enough hour to binge some fucking Revenge.

Nope.

Fucking buses.

A 1.5 hour trip turned into 3. I didn't make it to his place in enough time to watch more than one stupid episode! (FROWNY FACE)

At least we got to the one where Nolan Ross had his first solo mission and decided to get his dirt by covert seduction and getting laid. I think Nolan knows even better now why I named him after such a character. LOL!!

It was game night. Fun was had. I'm exhausted. Nolan was able to score me a ride home. Cute guy too.

BUT THE BEST NEWS!!

Nolan might get to date my precious little Hannah-Cat.

OMG!! SO MUCH SQUEE!!

For Nolan and I to share such an intimate bond as loving the same cute kitteh! That is just fucking heaven right there.

OMG... all the cuddles!

Cougar/cubs:

  - Hannah-Cat -  Alternately, though?

My Hannah-Cat has been going through a bit of a rough patch and she did confess that she has felt a disconnect between us. She's finally mobile again and there are plans to get together soon this morning.

There will be some naked cuddles.

I plan to reestablish this heart cord connection with my little one.

  - AlphaCub -  This is the first chance I've had to mention this, but AlphaCub had this really interesting dream about me... about pleasuring me.

About a contest to see who could pleasure me more, him or Jaded?

I love the fuck out of the fact that his mind went there...

I can't wait to see him on Thursday.

Cuddles [TCN =Temporary Code Name]

 - People -

     - Roland - I have heartbreaking news.

Roland has become afflicted with some sort of lung-crud and may need to cancel our Wednesday.

Of course, he should get his rest, but I'm so sad.

He was very flattered that I'd still want to see him even if he was coughing up a lung, though.  :) I told him I'd still kiss him with tongue because I trust my immune system that much.

(sigh)

It's okay... we have time. I know I'm not going anywhere.

I'll be right where he can find me when he's ready to do so.

Friends:

 - Beast - He was at game night... srsly... the BEST hugs.

Reasons:

 - Template - I got a sleepy bedroom pic while on my way to Nolan's... (purrawr) I wish I would have had the time and mental energy to flirt some more.

End Notes:

I'm really sorry this entry didn't go much into the details of things. I'm fucking exhausted and I want to post this before I sleep because it's going to be an eventful day.

My love to you all!