After a week of constant company, I was ready to do something with my solitude yesterday.
So, I decided to strengthen my Sanctuary Spell.
(wiggles eyebrows)
My Sanctuary Spell is an 'Area of Effect' sort of 'field of energy' that's a bubble around the whole of the Chamber of Snuggles (my bedroom). It's the addition of the Sanctuary Spell that augments the simple CoS into a Temple.
The spell helps to maintain an ambiance that is calming, but also very sensual. It permeates a sense of relaxation and the release of tension, but it also encourages intimacy, skin, and touch.
No... not always sexual, although, yes, it can go there.
The goal for my guests and charges is to give them permission to experience true intimacy without the pressure to have sex.
Seriously. Sometimes people just need to be cuddled. Knowing that it's okay to want to experience that closeness with another person without it being offensive that it didn't get all sweaty.
--
The Sanctuary Spell itself is woven out of three components:
1) Self-Care: This isn't just a Sanctuary for my guests and charges, this is also where I spend about 98% of my time. I have a squishy, comfortable bed and lots of things to make it an ideal nesting place. I have a big tv, a lap desk, access to better lighting and more comfort than I would attain anywhere else in my home environment.
This is where I give myself permission to rest with some Netflix or even take an afternoon nap if I need it. This is where I cry alone. This is where I write or YarnSlut... This is where I'm the least likely to become symptomatic with any of my mental illnesses. This is my safe place.
2) Temple: A really long time ago, I learned the true meaning of the word Virgin. It wasn't someone who had never had sex. In the case of females, that word was 'Maid'. No, also in the case of females, Virgin meant 'Woman who belongs to no ONE man.'
The most exalted form of service to the Gods was a woman who sacrificed her future to love a husband and her chances to raise a family by dedicating herself to be a vessel for the Goddess.
She was a Virgin. A Sacred Whore. A Healer.
It was her job to become the physical embodiment of the Goddess and purify men through ritual sexual restoration.
As soon as I read that? I knew exactly what I was. I realized why monogamy had never made sense to me and why I desired to not have children.
After that, I trained for five years as a sex mage, taking on lovers who knew more than I did and learning from them by experience. I've been a practicing Sensual Healer / Sex Mage for going on 20 years now.
Granted, times have changed, and as a Sacred Virgin I'm still raising a child and I still have relationships as a Solo-Poly Pansexual, but you get the idea!
3) Beacon: My charges aren't the only ones who need healing right now. I need it too, and badly. So, I've been casting out these calls to bring the right partners into my life. People I can truly trust and bond to. People I can help, but who will also stick around long enough to help me.
I've met some of these people already.
I'm aware that all my needs haven't been fulfilled yet, though.
Hence the calls going out yesterday.
(heh!)
Three cheers for Solitary Sex Magick!
I climaxed five times yesterday.
Holy fuck... my hips and my glutes are so fucking sore! They take a lot of strain from the pressure and tension leading up to the release... about the same as doing like 50 squats.
I'm going to be feeling it for a few days.
Mental Health / Self-Care:
- Writing - Please let me finish the Wolf today... Please let me finish the Wolf today... Please let me finish the Wolf today... Please let me finish the Wolf today... Please let me finish the Wolf today... Please let me finish the Wolf today...
Physical Health / Self-Care:
My STD screening came back 100% clean... (not that I doubted it would)
Sweeties:
- Hannah-Cat - You know... she's a prime example of why Apophis chose me to represent him.
I've said it before and I'll say it again. When we think about karma, we only ever think about the bad side of it. We only ever see the agents of Agents of Karma as the Avenging Angels.
We neglect the other side of that, the balance and the purity of what happens to the person being avenged.
We forget about the Merciful Angels. We don't even take into account the benevolence and compassion of that power that has been summoned to watch over us for a time.
I got hit hard.
I was hurt unfairly.
I was traumatized so badly I still have nightmares.
And everyone is getting their due... My Avenging Angel has dealt his killing blows.
And my Merciful Angel has dropped this sweet girl in my lap and given her the power to heal my trauma. Something as tender and as beautiful, sexy and mind-numbingly delicious as her couldn't exist without some sort of heavenly intervention.
And I can only bow in gratitude...
... and miss the godz damn fuck out of her.
Cuddles [TCN =Temporary Code Name]
- People -
- Drogo - I miss the fuck out of him too! Thank the godz our date is coming up in just a few short days. I need my Drogo cuddles so bad it hurts.
- Nolan - YES!! I miss the fuck out of my Nolan too!! Although he had the absolute two cutest reasons to cancel on our cuddle date. Even though I strengthened my Sanctuary Spell five times, those cute things? I think Nolan got the better end of the deal.
Potential(s) [TCN =Temporary Code Name]
- TCN:Kobe - He's been tapping in with some really light small talk that has pretty much amounted to him wanting to find out if I've 'played' recently. So, less ‘how are you, I’m interested,’ and more of a 'can you get me off with a sex-report?' kind of thing.
And then there was a little bit of 'oh, you were free today? we could have had some fun.'
But... I just wasn't feeling it from him.
Our Con/Non-Con fantasies seemed compatible at first... but, now I really don't think I feel this going anywhere.
He just doesn't have the sense of Primal that I really need...
There's no Wolf anywhere in there.
--
So...
Now...
Speaking of Wolves...
Just what exactly did you think that Sanctuary Beacon was calling out to anyway, hmm?
And after all was, ahem... anyway...
I decided to take matters a little bit more into my own hands and I started sifting through Fet to see what I could find.
There's an unknown traveler that seems to be... interesting...
I dropped him a message.
He's also doing the BIG GEEKY THING this weekend, though... so, it's going to be a bit before I hear back, if at all.
We'll see.
End Notes:
I have another pretty lazy day planned. I want to work on my budget and sift through my wallet to see if there's anyone else I should probably notify of my name change.
Maybe more solitary sex magick... I don't know... I'm pretty sore.
No comments:
Post a Comment