Sorry for today's total word vomit.

I don't know what it is about the Spawn weekends that seems to suck the life right out of me.

I mean, she's going on fifteen, you'd figure the Mother/Child bond of energy vampirism would have worn off or altered by now, but I still seem to flatten when she's around.

Yesterday was my typical morning. I pretty much had to shut my phone off so I could concentrate on getting the blog up before she woke up. If I don't get it up before she wakes up, she's WAY too distracting!! Everything just turns into word vomit. I can't proofread for flow. I'm lackluster in my artwork selection.

So, fine, I slammed down my words and I got everything up... and then I had some conversations to catch up on while getting the rest of my morning going. Things like breakfast and oral care.

Breakfast is usually the final thing... that's my reward at the end of the morning. Just kicking back with my ultra-processed, frozen, 1:37 minutes in the microwave, chimichanga (don't judge me, they're cheap and easy) and my wedges of pink lady apple.

But, some mornings... as soon as that last wedge of apple is consumed... the spoons just evaporate.

Everything the coffee told me we were going to get done today? It all becomes a vicious lie.

There wasn't even much on my plate! I just wanted to update my social profiles and get moving on some craft projects.

I made it through revamping my OKC profile, and then 'wooosh' -- (that's the sound of my spoons evaporating).

However, I was also feeling majorly cake deprived, so delicious cake did happen. I finally mastered crumb layers in frosting (have to slightly freeze the cake first), but the art of the lightly floured pan is still lost on me.

Now I have this chocolate/chocolate monstrosity taunting me every time I go in the fridge for my almond milk.

Anyway... after the Spawn went to bed, I still needed to wind down, so I watched a movie and revamped my Fet and Cuddle Comfort profiles.

On all profiles, I took out the stuff about May being a painful month for me. I took out the stuff about me being in pain now. I took out any resentment regarding Bran.

I added that Bran has my full support.

I added that I'm exploring Solo-Poly and loving the fuck out of it.

And...

I also added that while I do regard myself as Pansexual, and I'm still very very open to amab trans relationships... when it comes to afab, I'm claimed.

Sorry ladies. (smirk)

Hannah-Cat is my girl-focus right now.

And now all profiles reflect that.

OKC is also very clear that I will NOT be dating any couples. That card has already been punched too. I'll probably have to update that on Fet as well.

Same goes for BDSM Mentors.

If Drogo or I knew someone more skilled in any particular kink or fetish, I would still defer to Drogo as the authority over whether or not I would work with that person. I would also only allow for that session to happen if Drogo were still present to supervise and protect me. Unless Drogo very pointedly told me I'd be safe.

I'd still really only feel secure if Drogo were there, though.

So...

As strange as it sounds...

I'm Solo-Poly, YES, but I still bond really solidly to people.

If there's a particular niche filled... then it's filled, the position is taken.

Fucking hell...

I'm running my own Solo-Poly mini-corporation!

My brain, people...

Sorry for today's total word vomit.

I don't know what the fuck is up with me today.

Mental Health / Self-Care:

- Spoons -  // - #YarnSlut -  I really want to craft project today, so, please wish me all the spoons.

Physical Health / Self-Care:

- Blood Sugar -  Someone, please remind me to call my pharmacy and request a bottle of control solution. I think my glucometer is way the fuck off.

Family:

- Spawn -  It was honestly our absolute most typical Saturday. There is nothing special to report. We watched Supernatural and Magi. (shrug) Sorry, we're not really all that exciting.

Sweeties:

  - Hannah-Cat -  My gorgeous girl needed a little space yesterday. She was 'off'.

The thing that I absolutely fucking LOVE about her is that she's 100% cognizant and self-aware of when she's 'off', and she has never once failed to tell me 'hey, I'm 'off', it's not you, it's me.' - and then I just give her whatever space or help she asks for.

This is one of the ways that our communication level is already magical and it's a type of synergy that most couples strain for years to achieve.

She knows when she's not okay. She tells me when she's not okay. I don't automatically make it MY PROBLEM that she's not okay. I listen to what she feels, what she says, and what she says she needs, and I adjust my output to be what she needs.

No assumptions. Just pure communication and results.

This kind of symbiosis will continue to serve us greatly as our relationship grows and develops.

Right now, we're in 100% NRE (new relationship energy), meaning we're totally ape-shit over each other and we see each other as perfect. We haven't met each other's flaws yet.

That will happen, eventually.

We will eventually see each other's unsavory sides. We're going to get annoyed, hurt, sad, and even angry with each other.

But, we'll have laid this foundation of trust and communication, and we're both really self-aware of when something is wrong.

I'm actually looking forward to us getting over the hurdle of our first fight because that will set the tone for our relationship and how we resolve conflicts.

I'm looking forward to embracing every part of our relationship as whole and perfect. The good parts and the rough patches.

She's my angel kitty... (big smile)

I'm going to love her and keep petting her even after she claws the fuck outta me.

Cuddles [TCN =Temporary Code Name]

 - Team Sweetie -

     - Iron -  I'm very happy that a wonderful, but time-consuming and stressful chapter of his eventful life has closed. He enjoyed himself, but he's earned a well-deserved rest... and... after about the first week of July, I might even get to spend a few hours with him.

 - People -

     - Nolan -  I'm angry as fuck FOR Nolan right now. (grump) My Nolan deserves all the good things! Thankfully, my Nolan gets to meet the Spawn tomorrow!! YAY!! There will probably be anime.

     - Drogo -  Yesterday, a little space was needed here too. It's totally cool. I just make sure to check in on people so that they know they are not forgotten. I need my people to know that they haven't lost their importance to me.

 - Undeclared -

     - Alpha-cub -  He tapped in enough to let me know he's still reading my blog and that he's happy the Spawn and I got our pizza. So, he's still talking to me, at least! That's a super good thing. I'm not ghosted.

Friends:

 - RuneWolf -  I DID remember to send a thank you note for the cuddle(ish). I also told him that the Spawn would love to meet him because they'd 'get' each other. - no reply - (pout)

End Notes:  

Really not a lot to say in closing today... just kinda wanna get on with things.

(shrug)