It's time for me to tap a few souls...

I think I get stuck in my head a lot.

Okay, no, that's not actually true. I KNOW I get stuck in my head a lot.

I'm lucky enough that I'll cringe over conversations I've had in the past where I was basically socially tasered and word vomit happened. But, I won't overly beat myself up about it.

What happens instead? I churn, endlessly, over potential conversations and scenarios where I get a chance to fix something. Where I get to right a wrong. Where I get to make a better impression.

I find myself thinking of all the ways I could repair any social taser damage and form a bond with someone.

My curse is that I care too much about people, but I also worry the fuck out of what they must think of me.

Wanting to be liked isn't necessarily a bad thing. People need friends. We all know this. It's just that there are some people where it's like 'omg, you are so fucking cool, be my friend' and deep down in one's soul, there's this tail waggy puppy jumping up and down waiting to be picked for a kickball team.

...

... so, I'm thinking about this today...

Goddess the Fuck Up, right?

Is this Sarah Anne 2.0 or not?

Why the fuck am I being so godz damned timid about taking a stand here?

What about just getting in there, saying my peace, and if they respond favorably, YAY! I've made a friend!! GO ME!!

I have found one of my People.

And if they shun me or slam the door in my face?

FUCK 'EM!

They're not one of my People.

Endlessly wishing for someone to notice the invisible girl and say; 'Hey, you wanna be People?' has clearly never worked for me in the past.

Goddess the Fuck Up.

I'm not invisible.

It's time for me to tap a few souls and ask them if they want to be People.

Fuck yeah, bitches.

Mental Health / Self-Care:

- Spoons -  Dishes

- Writing -  Prequel (for Drogo)

- #YarnSlut -  Let’s hope?

Physical Health / Self-Care:

- INR -  2.3

- Nervous System -  My Chiropractor also had some therapeutic pain to deliver my left hip. Son-of-a-bitch, I really fucked it right the hell up! Fucking OW! It’s a good thing that I trust him with productive pain too.

Family:

- Spawn -  YES! There is frozen pizza in the freezer. I also have a note in to RuneWolf asking if he wants to come over and meet her this weekend.

Voltron:

  - Green Paladin: Nolan -  I need to make sure I'm sending Nolan some extra love this week/end...

Again, I'm not at liberty to reveal personal issues. But, I can say that I identify with them and I've been through similar pains.

I love my guy. He's FAMILY to me!

Mentors:

  - BDSM-D/s: Drogo -  Not gonna lie... totally still riding the high off that orgasm.

  - Primal/Alpha: Iron -  Same here. Finally getting some solid WOLF energy... omfg... I needed it so badly.

Cougar/cubs:

  - Hannah-Cat -  Srsly... what I wouldn't fucking give just to be able to cuddle my girl again. (pout) Life sucks.

  - AlphaCub -  Wicked anticipation of our date today!! I mean... just rawr... the mere thought gives me chills!

Potential(s) [TCN =Temporary Code Name]

 - TCN:Parker -  Not sure if we're still on for tomorrow or not. I've dropped him a note too. I'm hopeful, he's cute.  :)

Friends:

 - RuneWolf -  Again, not sure if he'll make it out to meet the Spawn this weekend or not. She would really love it though. Learning about the Asgardians from someone like him would be a real treat for her.

End Notes:

Not a whole lot on my mind this morning... I guess I'm mostly in a holding pattern, seeing what's about to develop over the next few days.