Ashes and Dust:

The depression is still eating me alive from the inside.

Last night Bran got bad news and I'm crushed. My one glimmer of hope just got drowned in ashes and dust.

I don't know how much longer I can do this.

Mental Health / Unfuck Yourself:

 - Therapy - / - Writing - I’m putting these on the same line again.

I’m not pushing myself too hard. I figure each Ghost Story entry should be in parts about flash length long. Somewhere between 900 and 1,000 words.

The new story is titled Lillian.

Right now only part one is up… no sex yet, but it will come.

I know this has to work.

Ghost was the one who rescued me before when I had no hope left inside me. He can do it again.

 - Sleep / Fitbit - 8 hours 1 minute, 1x awake, 15x restless, total of 37 minutes awake/restless. I did get up in the middle of the night for a water refill, which is rare. I usually sleep through the thirsties. I didn't have much trouble getting back to sleep, though. Only hit the snooze once today. Most days I don't hit the snooze at all, but some mornings I do.

 - Fur-babies - Nothing new to report.

Physical Health / Unfuck Yourself:

 - Caffeine - I'll be okay with just 3 cups of coffee today.

 - Blood Sugar - Skipped this morning because it wouldn't have been fasting. The midnight run for water also included a few handfuls of popcorn.

Relationships / Family:

 - Bran - So, there was this new job offer on the table. Better pay and a good chance of moving back to the cities sooner than his current main job was offering him.

We were actually getting excited, especially since Bran was working it out that his training would occur in the cities and he'd stay with me.

I'd be able to touch him.

*sigh*

Turns out the guy who hired him just got fired for making questionable hiring decisions. Nicks job offer is now no longer on the table and he can't even re-interview. The position has been filled.

I don't know what it's going to take to bring him home to me.

I only know that I'm dying inside without him.

 - The Unicorn - Nothing new to report.

Relationships / Sweeties:

[ If you're a reader and having trouble keeping the code named sweeties straight, look up above this entry and below the header. There's a link to a list of names/bio's there. - this is a work in progress, so if you're a sweetie and you don't see your name listed, don't worry, I'll get to you. ]

 - Recent Encounters - Nothing new to report.

 - Updates on Favorites -

 - Blue Falcon - We pinged a bit this morning. I threw it out there that I’m available for snuggles and a movie but he pinged back that this week is pretty full for him. It's okay. We had our time together on Tuesday, so I'm not being greedy.

I do miss him, though.

Relationships / Potentials and Honorable Mentions:

 - The One Timers - Nothing

 - The Hopefuls - new

 - Honorable Mentions - to report.

End Notes:

I don't think I'm writing today.

I'm just not feeling it.

All I want is my couch and my horror movies… maybe that last pint of ice cream that I have in my freezer…

Gods…

I'm just so fucking done.