It is what it is...

Sorry about skipping yesterday's entry.

Night before last I got to bed a little late and then yesterday morning I hit the snooze for half an hour. Then I got up and did coffee while watching Teen Wolf with every intention of going through my normal morning routine once I finished coffee and Season 3…

And then I had a lunch hour guest.

After that I just said 'fuck it' and started on Season 4 while I waited for the Blue Falcon.

Right… so, on with it:

Mental Health / Unfuck Yourself:

 - Therapy - I’m still doing really well. Better than expected even. Thanks to the Dragon I do believe that the black hole is gone and I don't see it returning any time soon. I finally got a chance to test it out yesterday… it's in the 'Recent Encounters' below. It's still too soon to really tell for sure because I’m not really sure if I fed yesterday or not… but, I still feel much better, so that's the important thing.

 - Writing - I still have yet to start on another Ghost Story installment… I think I'm going to try to do that today. I don't really feel like it. Not because of apathy, but because I'm feeling so much better that I don't really feel that I need it.

Still, I have to keep putting out the call.

I still need more sweeties.

Quality sweeties.

We never know when my next meltdown might hit. It would be in everyone's best interests if I had a bank of sweetie love to get me through it next time.

 - Sleep / Fitbit - 8 hours 4 minutes, 4x awake, 16x restless, total of 49 minutes awake/restless. That included a midnight trip to get water which I had no trouble falling back asleep after. Bless those damn sleep meds!!

 - Fur-babies - Noting new to report.

Physical Health / Unfuck Yourself:

 - Blood Sugar - 130 - but inaccurate - I ate a pouch of fruit snacks when I got up in the middle of the night.

Relationships / Family:

 - Bran - Nothing really new here. Just the same old same old. He's quitting his second job and _she's_ getting a job, so he might not even need a second anymore.

*sigh* whatever… it is what it is. She has her usefulness.

At least he sees her for what she is now and he's not being pulled in by her fangs and claws.

He'll come home to me eventually.

 - The Unicorn - Tonight's the night!! - STAYCATION COMMENCES - The Blue Falcon is taking her on a special trip on Monday *shh, it's a secret* - I'm going along for the ride. I'll just sit there and watch them play and have fun. I'm totally good with that.

Relationships / Sweeties:

[ If you're a reader and having trouble keeping the code named sweeties straight, look up above this entry and below the header. There's a link to a list of names/bio's there. - this is a work in progress, so if you're a sweetie and you don't see your name listed, don't worry, I'll get to you. ]

 - Recent Encounters - RIGHT, so very high potential that I've got myself a new sweetie here!!

I’m not going through the normal update points. I'll just tell you what happened.

He messaged me on Fet a couple of nights ago. He's a young professional (early 30's). He loved the Cougar thing… he was very respectful and I enjoyed chatting with him.

Yesterday morning he asked if it was too soon to meet me in person. Of course, it wasn't. So we made plans for his lunch hour. We both ate beforehand and we proceeded directly to the Chamber of Snuggles upon his arrival.

It didn't take us long to get naked, even though we started with clothes on. I let him set the pace.

I enjoyed touching his naked skin.

He _really_ enjoyed me touching his naked skin.

He told me my touch was reaching him deeply, in a 'better than sex' kind of way.

We did try to have sex, but he lost his erection and we just went back to the snuggles. I just kept finding new ways of touching him and he kept eating it up. He said my claws were hitting him on all levels… somewhere between tickle and pain… he loved it.

I stroked his cock a lot too, but he liked my claws 'non-sexually' on his skin more.

When the timer went off for him to leave he begged for just five more minutes, so I gave that to him.

We hugged goodbye.

He was still messaging me the second he left and we've kept the conversation going ever since.

Turns out he's had a strange aversion to intercourse for about a year or so now. He craves touch and intimacy, but not sex. This has left him abandoned by many potential partners and very very touch starved.

Yeah.

You bet your ass I’m taking care of that.

He's not alone or abandoned anymore. I'm going to take care of him from now on.

 - Updates on Favorites -

 - Blue Falcon - We had a really good date yesterday.

We also proceeded directly to the Chamber of Snuggles and I told him all about the Dragon and how he helped me…

Then I told him I was hungry and protein starved, so we made plans to go to the grocery store to just pick up hamburger meat and see what we could make of it.

LUCK WAS WITH US!

On our way in there were two women grilling outside the store and they had samples of steak seasoned hamburger patties with a coupon. We got the last two samples on the plate and the Blue Falcon literally SWOONED, they were _that_ good. We were sold.

Dinner was hamburgers.

I topped mine with onion and avocado.

Then we watched Swiss Army Man. It was a good movie!!

--

So… before dinner, when we were talking, the Blue Falcon noted that there's been a 'shift' in our relationship. He says we're no longer quite like 'sweeties' or 'friends with benefits'… took me a little bit to figure out what he meant because he said we were more like 'just friends'… which I totally disagree with. But, then I understood that he meant that our relationship isn't as lustful as it used to be. We're more intimate now, just not quite as sexually lustful.

I guess I’m okay with that.

He also noted my shudder when talking about this girl he almost considered dating and told me he needs to test me around another girl to find out if it's just that one girl that gets that reaction of if I'm developing any jealousy and possessiveness issues.

I told him I'm absolutely developing jealousy and possessiveness issues and that I'll own that shit one-hundred percent.

But, it's not going to stop me from wanting a proper mate and mother of his children for him.

I own my emotions. They don't hold me back.

I'll always love the Blue Falcon. That's never going to change.

But, handling shifts away from lust tells me that I can handle the shift to just friends too… we'll always be close, but maybe not always naked close.

It is what it is.

Relationships / Potentials and Honorable Mentions:

 - The One Timers - Nothing new to report.

 - The Hopefuls - Friday has been checking in on me more… it's good to know that he's still there. He's also actively beginning to take responsibility for this funk that he's been in. He knows he needs to pull himself out, but I don't think he's quite figured out how to do it yet.

He'll get there. I have faith in him.

I'm sure he'll be fucking me soon enough and that's going to start a whole new chapter in my life…

He's going to be amazing with me.

 - Honorable Mentions - Nothing new to report.

End Notes:

Not really anything to say in closing.

Wait… I guess that's not really true.

I miss the lust with the Blue Falcon.

I'm just realizing this now.

It might just be that I miss LUST in general, though.

Fuck… I need to be more sexually open with my new sweeties.