I'm very lucky...

Thanks to the Blue Falcon I can finally walk around my apartment bare foot. He was kind enough to loan me his vacuum because he noticed how bad my floors were getting.

My budget is finally getting worked out with the people who pay my bills, so I should have a vacuum of my own that will work on this carpet soon enough.

It was very sweet of him, though.

He's been such a good friend to me.

I just went back over my old journal entries.

You realize the Blue Falcon has been with me since the end of January?

That means I survived about two and a half months before he came into my life, and I’m not really all that sure how I did it. I skimmed some of those entries too and they were wrought with BPD reckless adventures into relationships. Getting super excited about guys and then getting all emotionally fucked up once the one night stand kicked in.

Not good.

He has helped me so much.

I'm very lucky to have him

Mental Health / Unfuck Yourself:

 - Therapy - Still taking a break from gaming. Yarn I can only do a little bit. I think I might have to restart one of my other projects. I think one of the reasons why I can only do a little at a time is that I get so bored with the one that I’m working on. That and my hand seems to want to cramp up a bit.

There's also a matter of positioning. I like to knit on my couch, but I usually have conversations going on with my computer, so I’m in my chair. I need a way to merge the two.

 - Writing - I'm plugging away. I'm not sure of how well I'm doing with my first pinch point. I think I have a pretty strong idea of where it needs to go, but I’m still not sure how well it's going to write out. I know I’m going to be tempted to post that pinch point too, just so I can get feedback. But, no. I'm going to hold off. I need to write up to the midpoint and then post that. And I need to post it all at once. So that means major karma farming!! I need to start doing more than one crit a day.

 - Sleep / Fitbit - 7 hours 59 minutes, 2x awake, 12x restless, total of 27 minutes awake/restless - that just doesn't make sense because that's the same quality of sleep that I usually get, but I had water left in my bottle this morning.

Hmm…

 - Fur-babies - Splotches came over for a little bit AFTER 10:30 last night. That's hella-odd! I didn't even expect Catmom to be up that late, but I guess he was getting on her nerves or something. I gave him some cuddles and mostly tried to keep him away from my guest because he had nice dress clothes on.

Physical Health / Unfuck Yourself:

 - Caffeine - I'll be fine with 3 cups of coffee today

 - Blood Sugar - 105 this morning. So this popcorn for dinner around 7/8 pm and then nothing before bed is working. Also the meds make it so I'm not getting hungry in the middle of the night… so, I think we're going to continue on this track.

 - Exercise/Yoga - My left calf appears to have finally forgiven me. So, I really should start ramping back up on the exercise again.

 - Weight Management - I eat so much less these days… I hope it's helping.

Relationships / Family:

 - Bran - Something fucked up is happening when I use my Bluetooth headset to talk to him. He's all distorted, but it's ONLY him. Very frustrating.

*sigh* We didn't talk last night because I had a guest over.

I really feel bad about that. Not just for him, but for me too. It hurts when I don't get to talk to him.

Fuck…

I just need this nightmare to end.

 - The Unicorn - Nothing new to report.

Relationships / Sweeties:

[ If you're a reader and having trouble keeping the code named sweeties straight, look up above this entry and below the header. There's a link to a list of names/bio's there. - this is a work in progress, so if you're a sweetie and you don't see your name listed, don't worry, I'll get to you. ]

 - Recent Encounters - I don't know what to tell you. I wasn't excited about him going in and I was even less excited about him once he darkened my doorstep. No real reason. I just wasn't into him. Not even one little bit.

I rented Alien because he'd never seen it. He gave me $10 to cover the cost of the movie so I can still pay the Blue Falcon back a little bit on Sunday. I made curried popcorn, which he barely ate. We watched the movie until it was past my bedtime. Then we gave each other two hugs and that was it.

I was SO fucking happy that he didn't try to kiss me or try to fuck me or anything.

Now I’m just hoping that I’m not his type either.

 - Updates on Favorites -

 - Blue Falcon - The Blue Falcon's  friend in the UK who's been recently diagnosed with BPD reached out to me yesterday. She's pretty deep in the 'I hate you, don’t leave me's'. *sigh* Poor Blue Falcon. I'm sorry he has to put up with that shit.

I get to see him again on Sunday.

I can't wait.

I need him.

Relationships / Potentials and Honorable Mentions:

 - The One Timers - Nothing new to report.

 - The Hopefuls -

Hopeful 1 Had to back out on his overnight with me tonight. That's fine… I haven't lined anyone else up… Meh… More Orange is the New Black for me, then.

 -- Friday -- I keep thinking I should check on him, and then I never do. It seems that whenever the conversation drops it's always him that drops it. So, whatever. If he wants to talk, he knows where to find me.

 - Honorable Mentions - Nothing new to report.

End Notes:

I’m hungry already… Odd since I'm still working on coffee…

Must be the lack of food yesterday…

Mental note. Early dinners mean earlier breakfasts?

I'll still wait for Bran to call.