Worth a small smile...

Well, I'm awake… not sure what more you want from me.

Mental Health / Unfuck Yourself:

 - Therapy - / - Writing - We're putting these on the same line today because today they're one in the same.

I have to attempt to jump start myself.

I really don't want to. I feel like anything I write will be pure crap, but whatever. It's just a shitty Ghost Story. It's nothing.

It's just trying to make 'him' real.

My savior.

The person who can wake me up, get me through this… the person who can bring me back.

He's not real and he'll never be real.

But, just like with Peter and with Daniel, I can make him real in my mind and I can make him real on the page. I can give him life, form, and breath.

Right now the only things holding me back are that I feel tired and my writing chair no longer reclines properly. Coffee will deal with the fatigue and I can muscle through this shit with my chair.

It is what it is.

 - Sleep / Fitbit - 8 hours 12 minutes, 4x awake, 13x restless, total of 32 minutes awake/restless.

 - Fur-babies - Nothing new to report.

Physical Health / Unfuck Yourself:

 - Caffeine - I'll be okay with 3 today.

 - Blood Sugar - High this morning at 126… that's what I get for not eating popcorn for dinner.

 - INR - Normal at 2.6 yesterday.

 - Nervous System - Adjusted well with a few tender spots… see him again in two weeks.

 - Inflammation - My arm is doing better, so the turmeric supplements are working.  :)

 - Exercise/Yoga - The Blue Falcon is just going to have to be disappointed in me… I just don't have it in me right now…

Relationships / Family:

 - Bran - It really hurts that he couldn't come visit me before he had to re-pick up hours at his second job. It's just one more disappointment in a long string of disappointments with him. He's still not done a single thing to help me survive this separation from him and his excuses are wearing a little bit thin.

I'm not even sure I see a point to this anymore.

His new second job should kick off soon… he plans to request the cities as his training spot so he can stay with me.

Part of me wants to hope.

The rest of me knows just how fucking dangerous any hope surrounding Bran is.

 - The Unicorn - Nothing new to report.

Relationships / Sweeties:

[ If you're a reader and having trouble keeping the code named sweeties straight, look up above this entry and below the header. There's a link to a list of names/bio's there. - this is a work in progress, so if you're a sweetie and you don't see your name listed, don't worry, I'll get to you. ]

 - Recent Encounters - Nothing new to report.

 - Updates on Favorites -

 - Blue Falcon - I didn't check on him yesterday. I really want to know how things are going with his new place, but I’m giving him some space… still, I'll check on him today.

Relationships / Potentials and Honorable Mentions:

 - The One Timers - Nothing

 - The Hopefuls - new

 - Honorable Mentions - to report.

End Notes:

It rained super early this morning and the sky is still overcast… this makes me smile just a little bit.

Not much… but maybe just a bit is enough for right now.