Saturday, June 24, 2017

Fly me up on a silver wing...

Bran worked late last night and I waited up so I could talk to him. So, I got to bed an hour late.

I hit the snooze button until 8:30 this morning, which is something I never do.

I'm still tired.

I need to not make a habit out of this kind of behavior.

--

I may have a guest dropping by for a very short bit… hopefully I can get the energy to pick up the apartment a little bit.

Mental Health / Unfuck Yourself:

 - Therapy - / - Writing - Despite my feelings that the writing just wasn't going to be there for me yesterday, I wrote a little over 1K.

Make no mistake, it's pure crap. I sped through my page turner hook and it's so quick and dirty that it just takes this vicious turn that makes literally no sense.

This is a narrative that is being posted as pure stream of thought consciousness writing. It's pure and unpolished. It's rough draft at its finest.

Whatever.

It seems to be doing it's job, though.

The Ghost Story is putting energy out into the universe that I don't have the strength to put out right now. Since it's pulling from a different place inside me, a place that has endless reserves, my sexual fantasies… it's fueled by something other than my need to pull sweeties and snuggle buddies close to me.

Potential sweeties are responding.

Now I just need to hold it together and stop whining long enough to let someone get close.

 - Sleep / Fitbit - Readings are muddled by my snoozing while I was watching a movie on the couch last night.

 - Fur-babies - Nothing new to report.

Physical Health / Unfuck Yourself:

 - Caffeine - I may actually go for four today.

[I'm skipping everything else today]

Relationships / Family:

 - Bran - His hours at his primary job are being fucked with because he's back from leave at his secondary job. Everything is so messed up. I just feel like this whole fucking thing was a mistake. He should never have left.

Well…

He's out of debt now… that seems to be something that wouldn't have happened if he'd stayed. So, whatever… I guess something good did come of it.

I'm a stronger person for it, and our relationship is stronger for it.

But it fucking sucks!

I miss him and I want him to come back!

I just need to hold on and hope the Ghost Stories draw some sweeties to me so I can start feeding regularly. Then I'll be okay with all of this again.

If I can feed more, I can start to thrive again.

 - The Unicorn -

Relationships / Sweeties:

[ If you're a reader and having trouble keeping the code named sweeties straight, look up above this entry and below the header. There's a link to a list of names/bio's there. - this is a work in progress, so if you're a sweetie and you don't see your name listed, don't worry, I'll get to you. ]

 - Recent Encounters - Nothing new to report.

 - Updates on Favorites -

 - Blue Falcon - Nothing new to report.

Relationships / Potentials and Honorable Mentions:

 - The One Timers - Last night I heard from someone I didn't expect to hear from again.

The Dragon contacted me.

He's down to only one class with school and he's done the graduation walk. He has more time even though he's working a lot. He'd fired up his OKC profile again and noticed I was on.

He gravitated right to me.

We're trying to make plans again.

I want you to understand something.

The Dragon was the one who helped me the last time I felt this hopeless.

Hell, my ability to even take sweeties stemmed from the Dragon!!

We didn't even have sex.

It was just 20 minutes of him teasing me in the front seat of his car and he woke me up to things that I'd thought were going to stay dead inside me forever.

And he contacts me on day two of my starting a fresh Ghost Story in an attempt to reboot?

Yeah… exactly.

 - The Hopefuls - Nothing new
 - Honorable Mentions - to report.

End Notes:

I'm waking up now…

I'm actually looking forward to the Ghost Story today.


These are good things.

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