No Quarter:

These last few days I've been in one of those head spaces where I'm actually happy to be afflicted with Borderline Personality Disorder. Every time I think of the Blue Falcon, I'm instantly transported to the moment when he was hovering over me, naked and saying how much he'd 'missed this'.

He'd probably say I'm reading too much into it. But that was a pretty special moment for me. After all the anxiety of worrying that we were over. Knowing that he was still with me. Knowing that he still wanted me. Knowing that, at least for now, there's still an 'us'.

It was pure joy.

I don't think I'll be letting go of that feeling any time soon.

Mental Health / Unfuck Yourself:

 - Therapy - I spent 95% of yesterday camped out and watching horror movies. Most of that dozing off too. So much so that when I finally went to bed, I found it hard to actually fall asleep! This shit has got to stop. I need to start being more productive! Or something. I need to do something.

Fuck me… maybe I need to knit some more, or something. My therapy can't just be lying on the couch watching horror movies. That's got to be the most ineffective mode of recovery I've ever heard of!

Somehow I need to get off my ass and actually start to recover!

This dead space is doing no one any good, least of all me.

 - Writing - There was no Ghost Story installment yesterday, even though there could have been. I got home well within productive hours, but it just wasn't in me to return to the chair. That's been rough… seems once I'm out of the chair, that's it. Productivity done for the day, there's no going back.

This does not bode well.

Today I'm hoping to get some words down on After Hours. I really think that as narratives go that one has the potential to get kinda cute.

One of my potentials has requested more Ghost Stories from the females perspective, so After Hours is a good place to do that.

I think the next story I'll write will be just for him. A very instructive Cougar helping a young cub learn all the ways of pleasure. He'll like that.  :)

 - Sleep / Fitbit - Like I said… I dozed a lot of what was in front of the horror movies and the Fitbit pulled a lot of that in. It's placed my sleep schedule between 2:15 pm and 8:32 am. Asleep 15 hours 59 minutes, 10x awake, 47x restless, total of 138 minutes awake/restless.

 - Fur-babies - Nothing new to report.

Physical Health / Unfuck Yourself:

Not today.

Relationships / Family:

 - Bran - There were no calls yesterday, so I have no updates of any kind. Sorry.

 - The Unicorn - Nothing new to report.

Relationships / Sweeties:

[ If you're a reader and having trouble keeping the code named sweeties straight, look up above this entry and below the header. There's a link to a list of names/bio's there. - this is a work in progress, so if you're a sweetie and you don't see your name listed, don't worry, I'll get to you. ]

I chit chatted a little bit with Pathfinder yesterday. He seems to be doing mostly okay. But people are making demands on his time and not all of them are being adults about it, so I feel bad that he has to put up with that crap.

I got a chance to tell him the Blue Falcon's back story. I was surprised that I hadn't shared that with him yet given the fact that Pathfinder is one of the few who would actually know that the term 'Blue Falcon' is actually really derogatory. Once I told him the story he understood and he told me I was using the term correctly, but I don't think he was actually totally cool with it just because of negative associations and such.

I'm sure he'll get over it, though.

If he reads enough here, he'll see how happy the Blue Falcon makes me and I'm sure he'll forgive the term in his own time.

--

 - Recent Encounters - Still not a word from the guy who stood me up on Friday. I’m starting to believe he really was just talk. So, I'm quickly losing interest in him.

 - Updates on Favorites -

 - Blue Falcon - I actually got to spend just a little time with him yesterday. He was already planning a trip to the Farmers Market and he asked if I'd like to go. He's very into this idea of me doing things that are healthy for me and having fresh fruits and veggies are on that list.

We only had a little over an hour together, and most of that was just wading through the press of bodies in the deep heat of the Market, but it was still great to see him.

I came away with $10 worth of yummies. Bananas, Strawberries, White Peaches, and Red Cherries. Yes, I've already been demolishing them. Everything but the peaches is ripe and ready to eat now!

I really wish he could have stayed longer, but he has so much to do and yesterday was particularly packed for him.

I'll see him a lot more once he's settled into his new place, though. So I'm expecting middle of August things will pick up for us again.

He misses being close to me.

*warm fuzzy rush*

He misses being intimate with me.

He misses me.

Omg… he misses me.

Relationships / Potentials and Honorable Mentions:

 - The One Timers - I’m really sad to say that I've not heard back from my date that cuddled me while we watched The Void… I'm pretty sure he was just a one time thing.

I know Foot Fetish guy will hit me up the next time he's horny, so I’m not worried about that. But I’m really feeling the loss with the other guy. He was super sweet and he gave good cuddle…

*sigh*

Maybe he's just busy… who knows.

 - The Hopefuls - There's a super cute blip on the radar. He has a lot to learn from a good Cougar and I'd love to help him. He's just got to get up the courage to come over and let me teach him a few things. In the meantime, I think my next Ghost Story is going to be a shout out to him.

 - Honorable Mentions - I should probably be noting the guy who stood me up here…

You know I get this a lot, though. Right?

Guys who stand me up get NO QUARTER with me.

You stand me up once, and you're on my shit list. Unless you have a really good fucking reason for why you were not with me, we're pretty much done from that moment on.

A week or so ago I had a guy who was supposed to come and do a Supernatural Marathon with me, and he stood me up. That's another thing you do not fuck with. You had better not play with my heart when it comes to Supernatural!! Then I got a message from him a few days ago, just out of the blue, saying we should get together and fuck.

Instant block!

See what I mean? No Quarter.

End Notes:

*warm sigh*

I think I'd like it to be the Middle of August now… I'd like some private time with the Blue Falcon.

Granted private time wouldn't last very long… End of August I get the Unicorn for two straight weeks.

Serious 'no play' zone.

Hmm…

Here's hoping he settles into his new place kinda fast?