All is well, though...

I have a pretty regimented daily/morning routine that really hinges on having a working computer and internet access. I have a vast 'to-do' list and a calendar to keep track of things I need to accomplish on a daily basis (I forget shit easy, so the daily lists help). And then I also have a personal metrics tracker so I can record accomplished tasks and get an instant view of my daily productivity.

None of this works if I don’t have a working computer.

This morning, Victor (my laptop) worked just fine, but he wasn't connecting to the internet. Any of them. I have my own internet. I still have the login to the Blue Falcon's Xfinity and I can connect to the local hotspot if I need to. Or in a pinch, I can do a mobile hotspot from my phone.

Yeah, Victor wasn't having any of it.

So, I restarted him, fully prepared to make my day work on November (the Chromebook) if I had to because the last time I tried to restart Victor when he wasn't connecting I ended up locked out for a whole day because he wasn't recognizing my password to log back in.

Fucker.

All is well, though.

Victor accepted my password and is now connecting to the main internet.

Huzzah!

Mental Health / Unfuck Yourself:

 - Therapy - As near as I can tell, the depression is still holding, but I seem to have some return of emotional range. I'm not 100% apathetic about everything, but I think I blame most of that on the Blue Falcon. He has a way of getting to me, but you all knew that already.

 - Writing - I should be able to put another K into the most recent Ghost Story today… I'm looking forward to seeing where it goes. I think the Blue Falcon is going to make a cameo again.

 - Reading - I didn't get a whole lot of reading done because I was with the Blue Falcon for a great deal of yesterday. About 9-10 hours!! - So I still have a lot of Zombie Apocalypse to get through before I move on to the Awake in the Dark series.

Yesterday the Blue Falcon needed to do a little bit of work on his movie posters and he left me with his old Kindle and a book to read the first few chapters of. He was later (self-unforgivably) mortified to learn that he had set me up with the wrong book. Instead of some sort of comedy, he'd accidentally had me reading the absolute worst of the Star Wars books in his collection.

He apologized about that non-stop for the rest of the night.

I just found the whole debacle hilarious!!

 - Sleep / Fitbit - 9 hours 6 minutes, 2x awake, 6x restless, 22 minutes awake/restless.

Holy fuck, I think that's the best night I've had in awhile!! I'm blaming the Blue Falcon.

 - Fur-babies - Nothing new to report.

Physical Health / Unfuck Yourself:

 - Weight Management - I see my weight loss doctor in the next couple of weeks. I have no idea how I'm going to explain that I eat less and the appetite suppressants ARE working, and yet I've gained weight anyway. So terrible.  :(

Relationships / Family:

 - Bran - The Blue Falcon and I were just starting another episode when Bran called last night. It was a good talk, we had him on Speaker phone. He got to share some of his penguin stories with the Blue Falcon, and also that there's no movement on the job scene. Just more talk about where movement could/should happen.

I had a really bad dream again.

I dreamt that he came back, but he brought the screeching harpy with him. I dreamt that he was still focusing all of his energy on pleasing her while he was ignoring me.

Here, in the waking world, I know this is just a dream and that he's coming back to me. I know he's coming back alone and she'll be a distant memory very quickly. But I think these dreams signify that she's still in my sphere because she's been in his life every day for a year now and all I get are a couple of phone calls if I'm lucky.

*sigh*

It needs to end.

We've had enough.

Please, just let it end already.

 - The Unicorn - She starts the 8th grade tomorrow. With any luck, she's getting better at washing her hair. She really needs to work on that.

Relationships / Sweeties:

[ If you're a reader and having trouble keeping the code named sweeties straight, look up above this entry and below the header. There's a link to a list of names/bios there. - this is a work in progress, so if you're a sweetie and you don't see your name listed, don't worry, I'll get to you. ]

 - Recent Encounters - Nothing new to report.

 - Updates on Favorites -

 - Blue Falcon - Fuck we had a great day yesterday.

We got started a little early and ran some errands. Sam's Club for bread for me. Bank run to pull out cash for me. Cub run for food for lunch/dinner for us and Milk for me. I also picked up a small block of Manchego cheese because I wanted him to try it. Then a quick stop at a CVS so I could load money onto my card. I paid him back $20 towards the $250+ that Bran and I owe him and now I have $60 to take care of getting vitamins - I'm going to do that this week.

Then it was off to the Blue Falcon's place.

There was the debacle with the Kindle (LOL)

We watched two episodes of Twin Peaks and sandwiched in the Pilot Episode of SUPERNATURAL!!

YES!! I FINALLY HAVE MY SUPERNATURAL SNUGGLE BUDDY!!

And yes… we did some naked cuddling too.

We didn't have sex, though.

I realize now that sex was my call. He literally TOLD ME it was my call, and I was still waiting for him to make the move. WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH ME?!

I need to start speaking the fuck up and fucking his brains out.

I don't know how I missed it that it was my call.

I don't know what's wrong with me.

I wanted to have sex with him.

UGH.

We had dinner. Cheeseburgers. So yummy.

Then it was movie night. The pre-show was an old Hannah Barbara cartoon of Godzilla with a baby mutation named Gadzuki… it was so bad it was beautiful. Then there was a subtitled Godzilla movie for the night… Dinner hit me hard, though and I started food coma'ing pretty hardcore. So, I missed most of it, but what I did see was painfully bad. It was pretty glorious.

After the movie, the Blue Falcon started episode 2 of Supernatural but then we were interrupted by Bran. Then by the time we were done with that phone call the Blue Falcon noted how late it was and the decision was made to quit while we were ahead and get me home so he could get some sleep.

I should have fucked him.

Grr…

I got some reading in and then I got to bed.

Relationships / Potentials and Honorable Mentions:

 - The One Timers - Nothing…

 - The Hopefuls - … new to…

 - Honorable Mentions - … report…

End Notes:

And therein lies my update…

Computer/Internet is still working!

YAY!