I really feel like I made the coffee too strong this morning. I still have yet to figure out if I made enough of it. It will all depend on how many times I refill my cup. Gah… such a learning curve!
I'm meeting with my new/temporary case manager tomorrow. We're going to guess/stab at my budget and I'll see if I can afford another Keurig.
Mental Health / Unfuck Yourself:
- Therapy - I got some really good cuddles yesterday. So I’m sure the depression has a much lighter hold on me today. It's still kind of early to tell because 'awake' and 'not caffeinated enough yet', but I'm pretty sure I'll have an easier time getting through today.
I see Valkyrie tomorrow.
We will have things to talk about.
- Writing - Still on hold
- Reading - I didn't get a chance to do any reading yesterday. For a good reason, but I still miss my book and I'm looking forward to reading more today.
- Sleep / Fitbit - 8 hours 37 minutes, 1x awake, 13x restless, 34 minutes awake/restless.
- Fur-babies - Nothing new to report.
Physical Health / Unfuck Yourself:
- Blood Sugar - Now I REALLY need to start remembering to check my sugars - they're raising the amount of medication I take in an effort to bring my blood sugars just a little closer to normal. But we could easily shoot the moon and I could end up with low blood sugars. It could get dangerous. So I really need to start taking my glucometer with me and everything.
- INR - Test today.
- Nervous System - Adjustment today.
- Exercise/Yoga - Skipping today. I know I won't have enough time.
- Weight Management - Okay, so since my last visit to the weight loss specialist, I've still gained weight.
BUT, since the last time I was medically tested/weighed, I've LOST weight. I was weighed on August 23'rd - and then again yesterday - Okay so my timing was off. I thought it had only been a week or so, not a month. BUT STILL - in that MONTH, I lost FIVE POUNDS since giving up Ramen and eating more spiralized meals. So, I'm on the right track! I expect the positive changes to continue.
Relationships / Family:
- Bran - I never hear from him at all now. I don't even know if it's just that he's still sick or that he's too busy with whatever to even drop me a note on Telegram to let me know what's going on. But it's just dead space now.
- The Unicorn - Nothing new to report.
Relationships / Sweeties:
[ I took out the section on sweetie bio's, the whole 'sweetie' thing never really worked out. I only ended up with a bunch of one night stands. I'm giving up on sweeties. ]
- Recent Encounters - So, I was right. Yesterday did end in me having a guest. Just not at night… or not all at night… LOL…
He was up early and he messaged me before I got up. So, I woke up to this PAGE of a message on FetLife and ended up having to process it before I was even remotely caffeinated. The conversation sparked and it was clear that we had an undeniable chemistry right from the start.
I had to see my weight loss doctor yesterday, though, and I wasn't going to be really available until about 4:30-5'ish - and both of us just caved. It seemed so far away and we were both feeling this really intense pull towards each other.
So, we gave in. He came over early and then rode along with me to my appointment.
We cuddled on the couch while we waited for the ride. We held hands and chit chatted in the back during the rides. While I was filling out the questionnaire in the waiting area, he had my legs in his lap and he was petting them.
Then I received an updated prescription that needed to be hand delivered to my pharmacy, which he was very gracious and gave me a ride to, and THEN we were finally back at my place and in the chamber of snuggles.
Nakedness ensued.
- 1) good company: He's certainly intelligent, but he doesn’t dominate conversations at all. He much prefers to be the listener and to ask just enough questions to find something that his conversational companion is passionate about.
- 2) good conversation: As a result, I dominated the conversation, but that was okay with him. That was what he wanted.
- 3) good snuggles: GREAT cuddler!! Maybe a little bit more kissing than I would have liked, but I think it's okay. I just might need to curtail it a bit more in the future (yes, he promised a future). We cuddled in a lot of different positions too. Positions where either of us could do a majority of the touching. He gave me a massage too, which was lovely.
- 4) good sex: He's not a 'sex first' kind of guy. He prefers to let that tension build up. He's very into giving pleasure though. He stumbled upon the hair pulling thing on accident but quickly learned that he could get some interesting moans out of me by pulling my hair. :) -- He gave me a few too many hickies, dark ones too, I'm not exactly happy about that.
One thing, though? He does NOT suck at G-Spot manipulation one little bit. He made me scream until I needed to drink a whole bottle of water.
It was really hard to disengage and send him on his way when it got too close to bedtime for me. But, I had to do it.
I know I'll see him again, though.
My only real worry is that he had an even harder time than me when it came to disengaging last night. I'm definitely worried about there being a 'too strong' of an emotional attachment coming from him. I don't want to find myself cornered someplace where I'm going to have to break his heart.
I don't think I will. The chemistry is really still there. And Bran and I are non-monogamous, so there's no reason for me to quit seeing this guy. But it might have to curtail a bit when Bran comes home.
One thing's for sure, me and this guy both feel really alone and we really clung to each other to not feel it. Not healthy at all.
We're going to have to work on that.
- Updates on Favorites -
- Blue Falcon - I let him know about the weight loss, but other than that I'm trying to back off again and let him come to me. I'm worried, though. I know I’m going to need food soon and he's my only reliable transportation.
I hate this…
I just wish Bran would come home so I could go grocery shopping with my husband like a normal woman.
Relationships / Potentials and Honorable Mentions:
- The One-Timers - I have someone coming back for his second date on Friday. Last time he seemed to need to receive a lot, which was okay. And after the energy I absorbed yesterday I'll probably have something to spare to this guy if he needs it. We'll see. He might be considered a sweetie soon.
- The Hopefuls - My other hopeful doesn't have any availability coming up. I'm noticing that I'm a LOT LESS emotionally attached to him today!! So, whatever my date yesterday did, he cured me of that. So I'm definitely grateful there. Being emotionally attached to someone unmet and untested is suboptimal at best!
- Honorable Mentions - I have some kids on OKC making themselves known.
If my date from yesterday sticks around, I might be able to handle more dates in search of more sweeties… That could be a good thing.
End Notes:
So, the coffee tastes way too strong, but it's doing the job of waking me up.
Still… want Keurig soon!!
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