Something finally went right...

My date yesterday actually went really well. Way better than expected. I think I may have something here. :)

Mental Health / Unfuck Yourself:

 - Therapy - Yesterday the depression was kicking my ass something fierce. After that conversation with Bran I'd had the night before, I just wasn't feeling okay at all. I recognized my emotional outburst as blackmail tears and I regretted them. I just wanted Bran to call and tell me he still loved me, but he didn't. I went the whole morning without a word from him. When the appointed time for my date almost came and went without a word from him, I was actually happy. I didn't want to plaster on a fake smile. I just didn't want to have to pretend to be not depressed. I just wanted to be left alone in my misery. But, he ended up showing up anyway… but it all turned out okay in the end.

 - Writing - I've managed to quell the tooth pain. So, I really have no excuses. I should get back to my latest Ghost Story. Not today, thank the gods, today is Blue Falcon time. But tomorrow I should. *sigh* I fucking hate writing right now.

 - Reading - I finished Awake in the Dark and then read a couple of books by Ophelia Bell. She's in my erotica group. She writes Dragon Shifter smut. Pretty good stuff!! Right now I'm into another collection/anthology of smut by another author. So far it's not as terrible as the last collection I read, so that's at least a plus. I should be able to get something out of it. The sex scenes happen a little fast for my liking, though. I'm sorry if a girl is freshly traumatized by a near death experience, I don't think she's going to hop into bed with the next thing that resembles the thing that almost killed her… just my two cents on the matter.

 - Sleep / Fitbit - 7 hours 28 minutes, 3x awake, 12x restless, 51 minutes awake/restless. I've been getting hella thirsty at night lately. Getting up sometimes 3 times in the night to refill my water bottle. Not sure wtf is up with that. The weird thing is I don't get hungry. That much fluid in my system should empty out my stomach good, but I guess the weight loss drug they have me on at night is doing its job? Must be, because I'm not getting hungry at night. I get TEMPTED. Yes, the cookies are tempting! But last night I didn't go after them because I didn't want food in my bad tooth all night.

 - Fur-babies - Nothing new to report.

Physical Health / Unfuck Yourself:

Thank the gods I don't have to worry about this shit for a few more days…

Relationships / Family:

 - Bran - So, Bran did call last night. We did have a good talk. He forgave me for the blackmail tears. He didn't exactly SAY that, but neither of us brought it up. So, it's over. It doesn't really need to be addressed. I'd snapped him an apology and I guess that was good enough for him.

He told me that he did speak with one of his higher ups and she'd told him that the best they could do was set him up with a 90-day emergency position back in the cities but after that… if something didn't open up for him to slide into, he'd have to go back up north. That's obviously sub-optimal and we're not even going to try for that bullshit.

He also told me that he has to do his Department Head training up there. So, regardless, if he DOES get a DH position, that's a bare minimum of another three months that he'll be gone.

So, we're still stuck in this hell.

But, as the Blue Falcon would say, he's doing it to improve his career and to be in a better financial position when he comes home.

True.

Doesn't make it suck any less.

 - The Unicorn - Nothing new to report.

Relationships / Sweeties:

[ I took out the section on sweetie bio's, the whole 'sweetie' thing never really worked out. I only ended up with a bunch of one night stands. I'm giving up on sweeties. ]

 - Recent Encounters - No code name yet - you know the rules.

    - 1) good company: The actual time for the date to start was around 2 pm, and we got close to that without a word from him. So close that I was pretty sure I was about to be stood up. But then at 2, I received a message that he was just waiting for his daughter to be picked up and then he'd be on his way over.

He brought wine and we talked while I let it mellow.

Super nice guy. Good job. Good outlook on life. Good outlook on relationships. He's not a one night stand kind of guy. He's Poly and stable, really seeking to have another partner in his life.

    - 2) good conversation: We talked about my depression and I apologized more than once for being such a downer, but other than that I did my best to engage. I told him about the Unicorn thinking like Joss Whedon and the story about how the Blue Falcon became my favorite sweetie. I also explained how I would really like more guys like the Blue Falcon in my life.

He told me about his job. Some about his daughter. He shared some stories about times he'd gone to CONvergence. We talked about how we're both raising our kids to be freaks and about how we're both probably on the autism spectrum somewhere ourselves.

I had apples and cheese to go with the wine.

It was a really really good talk.

    - 3) good snuggles: I don't really remember how or when the Chamber of Snuggles came up, but we retired there for a little bit. We couldn't get comfortable or stay long because he had to leave to pick up his other partner soon. But there were TIGHT TIGHT snuggles and he's GOOD at soft touch too! - there was kissing!

We talked about snuggling next time… getting comfortable (clothing optional) windows open, fan on. "Unless it's too cold." I said. "If it's too cold we just get under the blankets" he responded.

It was bittersweet to end it.

I saw him to the door and we kissed goodbye.

    - 4) good sex: And we skipped the sex! It wasn't necessary! We were both fulfilled with just the snuggles.

Get this… HE sent ME the thank you note after.

We both agreed to book more time together next time and to make sure we get 'comfortable'.

I really like where this one is going.

 - Updates on Favorites -

 - Blue Falcon - I need to get my ass in gear because he's picking me up soon for the Farmers Market… I think we're spending the whole day together. There should be Supernatural.

SQUEE!!

Relationships / Potentials and Honorable Mentions:

 - The One Timers - Nothing…

 - The Hopefuls - … new to…

 - Honorable Mentions - … report.

End Notes:

I'm really hopeful that my date from yesterday turns into something.

After he left I spent the rest of the day/night feeling very forlorn and lonely. I knew I was missing something/someone terribly. Whether it was him, Bran, the Blue Falcon, or just anything/anyone with a heartbeat, I really can't say. I just know that I didn't like being alone last night.

In fact I fucking hated it.

But, I'm really glad that date went well.