Does a position of personal honor matter if the people you interact with have no honor at all? More to the point, is one honor bound to keep their word when it's obvious that the other party is just using them and has no intention of being respectful in any way shape or form?
If I told a guy I'd have sex with him, and he was nice about it at first, but then he started treating me like a piece of meat… am I honor bound to keep my word? Or am I within my rights to get the fuck out of there before I do something I'm going to regret? Should I trip my escape hatch before my body is used and discarded as if it means nothing.
Should I say something before I back out?
Or should I just leave the conversation and delete him from my contacts?
Right, yes, this isn't someone I know in real life, yet. These were only online and text conversations.
I got out before I gave him my address.
Should I feel guilty?
The Blue Falcon would tell me 'no'.
I should listen to the Blue Falcon in my head.
Mental Health / Unfuck Yourself:
- Therapy - I get to see Valkyrie today, so that's good. I'm sure she'll talk me out of feeling guilty too.
- Writing - I'm pretty sure I'll have enough time to get another 1K in on The Real You today.
- Reading - I finished the Zombie series I was reading. I actually really liked it. I should be reviewing for the author today. Then I went back to re-reading the Awake in the Dark series. I'm really looking forward to getting all the way through that one. :)
- Sleep / Fitbit - 8 hours 4 minutes, 5x awake, 18x restless, 60 minutes awake/restless. (ugh, sucky night!)
- Fur-babies - Nothing new to report.
Physical Health / Unfuck Yourself:
One of the back teeth on the right side of my mouth has suddenly become ultra sensitive. It has very painful reactions to cold and now it's even starting to complain when not triggered.
I've already lost three back teeth on my left side and I can only chew on my right… if I lose a right side tooth I'm tearing down to truly fucked.
Plus my dental anxiety… oh god… this is bad. This is so bad.
Relationships / Family:
- Bran - There's a possible 'high' position opening up down in the cities. Bran is going for it. We are hopeful. *sigh* It's not much, but it's something.
I need to delete literally every dating profile I have.
This 'Sweeties' thing is NOT working out.
The Blue Falcon worked out, but he's the only one and he's very unique. It's just not happening with anyone else.
I miss Jasper.
I miss Rain.
They were good too.
I’m just so fucking done with all of this.
- The Unicorn - Nothing new to report.
Relationships / Sweeties:
[ If you're a reader and having trouble keeping the code named sweeties straight, look up above this entry and below the header. There's a link to a list of names/bios there. - this is a work in progress, so if you're a sweetie and you don't see your name listed, don't worry, I'll get to you. ]
- Recent Encounters - Nothing new to report.
- Updates on Favorites -
- Blue Falcon - I sent him a brief note telling him that I wished I had him here to talk me out of feeling guilty and he said he had no plans tonight and he'd be happy to come over. *smile* - so, that's awesome. I get some Blue Falcon time tonight.
Now… if I can just turn it around and get naked snuggles too. I'd like to make up for lost time and get some coitus going. *winx*
Exception, not the rule.
Relationships / Potentials and Honorable Mentions:
- The One Timers - Nothing…
- The Hopefuls - … new to…
- Honorable Mentions - … report.
End Notes:
I know I shouldn't feel guilty.
I'm a real person with thoughts and feelings. I'm not just a collection of holes for someone to stick their dick into. Yes I broke my word, but I broke it to someone who clearly didn't care about me, so why should I care about him?
This is someone who didn't honor the goddess in me.
Why should I honor the horny mother fucker in him?
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