Thanks to a very good Facebook friend who's always there with helpful articles in a pinch, I've learned that swishing with HOT salt and pepper water will kill the tooth pain for hours.
I'm now on a very aggressive oral hygiene regimen. I brush and floss after both morning and evening meals and then swish with the solution. So far I'm still bleeding a lot, but it's only been a day and a half, so it's to be expected.
It's a little hard to psych myself up for the oral care, but I'm managing okay.
Mental Health / Unfuck Yourself:
- Therapy - The depression remains… I push through it as much as I can when I can, but it's still the central figure in my days. It all hangs on Bran being gone. I just 'can't' anymore. I can't be without him. I can't be in this long distance relationship hell anymore. He either needs to come home or we need to break it off so I can find someone else and move on. Note that I'm in no way wishing for the latter. Finding someone new to lifemate with would be a struggle I'm not ready to have either. So, it really just comes down to 'he needs to me home'. Otherwise, the depression will just continue to choke the life out of me.
- Writing - I've packed it in on the writing since the tooth thing became an issue. I have a date today and the Blue Falcon tomorrow… I think I'll try again on Monday.
I'm not looking forward to it. It's really hard to force myself to write anything. Once I get going I seem to be okay, but psyching myself up for it is a chore and a half. It's almost painful in a way. The writing just isn't flowing at all.
- Reading - I finished Awake in the Dark - Now I've just to write my Amazon Review… I'm going to read some Dragon Porn the next time I sit down to read. It's a short story… I'll be back on the carousel in no time.
- Sleep / Fitbit - Readings are all fucked up again because of how relaxed I am when I read. Plus I was up THREE times to get water last night! What the fuck?! Why am I so thirsty all of the sudden?!
- Fur-babies - Nothing new to report.
Physical Health / Unfuck Yourself:
- Exercise/Yoga - My supplements finally got ordered. That means that once my 'iron' stabilizes I'll have no more 'light headed' excuses on why I'm not exercising. I'll get back to the indoor walking again and I'm thinking I should try adding in Yoga for Weight Loss too… Fuck, it's not like I don't have the time. With the writer's block eating me alive, I have all the time in the fucking world.
Relationships / Family:
- Bran - Last night's 'drive home' conversation did not go well.
He started telling me about this large/beautiful property up there that's going to need a paid caretaker when the family that owns it moves down to Texas. I asked him if that would hinder his coming home at all, and he said he might have to wait until a replacement caretaker was found.
Like they just fucking grow on trees or some shit.
I wound up crying and telling him that he might as well take it since he's not coming home anyway. He might as well be comfortable. And if he's getting paid to live there then maybe he can at least do it without the screeching harpy and the abominations. So, at least he could call me more often then, right? He wouldn't have to keep hiding me from her like I was some dirty fucking secret all the time.
He apologized for upsetting me, but it was a hollow apology.
It just cast the entire ride home in shadows for both of us.
I don't know how he felt last night after that… if he went to bed feeling like an asshole for hurting me or if he was just able to brush it off or whatever.
I just went back to finishing my book and then I went to bed.
Fuck… I don't know what's going to happen. It just feels like he's not coming home, ever. So why hope for it. Why even bother looking forward to it.
Why not just plan on sleeping alone for the rest of my life.
- The Unicorn - Nothing new to report.
Relationships / Sweeties:
[ I took out the section on sweetie bio's, the whole 'sweetie' thing never really worked out. I only ended up with a bunch of one night stands. I'm giving up on sweeties. ]
- Recent Encounters - I have a date today.
*shrug*
I guess I'm about as excited as numb/depressed can get excited. This one just seems stable and like he's looking for the same things I'm looking for. Someone to hang out with and actually have a relationship of some kind with. He doesn't strike me as the one-night-stand type. He just seems more stable.
Now we just have to see if I can hold my shit together long enough to keep him wanting more?
I guess that seems like a decent plan.
- Updates on Favorites -
- Blue Falcon - Now, this I AM excited about. We're getting together early on Sunday to hit the Farmers Market and it stands to reason that we'll spend a large part of Sunday just hanging out as we move towards Movie Night.
This WILL mean more Supernatural!!!
I FINALLY HAVE MY SUPERNATURAL SNUGGLE BUDDY!!!
Yeah, I know, I've said that before. But those were all flakes with no interest in hanging around.
This is the Blue Falcon.
He's going exactly nowhere.
Ye Gods… so much love.
I'll probably talk to him about what happened with Bran last night… he'll set me straight. He always does.
Relationships / Potentials and Honorable Mentions:
- The One Timers - Nothing…
- The Hopefuls - … new to…
- Honorable Mentions - … report…
Or more to the point: I couldn't fucking care less right now.
End Notes:
Tooth pain seems a little active this morning, but not too bad.
I think I can get through it.
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