Hindsight is a bitch.

I suck.

That's it.

I just suck.

There's something wrong with me.

--

In other news, I tried to program the drip side of my coffee maker, but it didn't work. So I looked at the instructions this morning and tried again, but it still didn't take. And while I was doing that, I learned that there's yet ANOTHER setting to make the K-Cup side work.

What the actual fuck?

You have to set that option in TWO places?

Overkill much?

Anyway, after I’m done with my drip coffee I'm going to risk the extra caffeine and try the K-Cup side again to see if I can finally get that working.

I know…

I suck.

Anyway.

Mental Health / Unfuck Yourself:

 - Therapy - I see the lovely Valkyrie today and we're going to talk about why I suck. She's going to give me reassuring words and let me know that it's okay to suck, and I'll feel better. But it won't be enough. I'll still want to reach out to Bran and the Blue Falcon too. I'm going to need a lot of reassurance on this one.

 - Writing - Still on hold. - BUT - there *might* be some juice to finish "The Real You". I have a happy reader who would love to see how this story concludes.

 - Reading - I finished the trilogy about the Alien Vegetarian Vampires. Don't laugh, it was actually a very compelling story to read. I'm really loving the world of Paranormal Romance now and I’m glad that it's the genre that I feel compelled to write in.

 - Sleep / Fitbit - Got to bed late last night because of reading about more Dragon Orgies. So, 7 hours 13 minutes, 3x awake, 17x restless. 55 minutes awake/restless.

 - Fur-babies - Nothing new to report.

Physical Health / Unfuck Yourself:

 - Blood Sugar - FUCK!

 - INR - 2.9

 - Nervous System - I’m holding well enough that my chiropractor asked if I'd like to push the next appointment out longer than two weeks. But, I said no. That's outside of my comfort zone. I think 2 weeks is my limit.

 - Exercise/Yoga - I was supposed to meet with my new/temporary case manager today, but he's sick. So, that was my excuse for skipping it. And you know what? I’m still skipping it. Because I suck.

I'm a horrible person.

I’m slacking on my self-care.

I suck.

 - Weight Management - At least I ate something healthy last night. Oven roasted parsnips with a sour cream and serrano pepper dipping sauce. So good!

Relationships / Family:

 - Bran - HE FINALLY GOT TO CALL ME!! So, we finally had a good talk. It had been days.

On the one hand, I'm glad he's done with the job that's been keeping him away from me. But, on the other hand, I'm sad that he doesn't get to call me as much because she's always around.

But, one really good thing is that he's both caught up and ahead on all his bills, so once he has clearance to come the fuck home, he's coming the fuck HOME!

I can't wait.

 - The Unicorn - I can't wait until tomorrow.  :)  More Buffy/Angel time.

Relationships / Sweeties:

[ I took out the section on sweetie bio's, the whole 'sweetie' thing never really worked out. I only ended up with a bunch of one night stands. I'm giving up on sweeties. ]

 - Recent Encounters - Nothing new to report.

 - Updates on Favorites -

 - Blue Falcon - I just let him know that I have the Unicorn this weekend as well. Not sure if he'll hang out or not, but it's a possibility.

Relationships / Potentials and Honorable Mentions:

 - The One-Timers - OH MY GOD I FUCKING SUCK.

My date from Tuesday?

I don't think I'm into him.

When I reflect on our time together, nothing makes me swoon.

I actually get a little 'yuck'.

I didn't actually enjoy him… I was just soaking him up because of how lonely I was. And now that I've been fed, I realize that I didn't actually enjoy it…

FUCK!!

What do I do?

He's going to develop an emotional attachment and what do I do then?

I SUCK!!

I fucking suck.

I just fucking suck.

There's something wrong with me.

I suck so bad.

 - The Hopefuls - Nothing new…

 - Honorable Mentions - … to report.

End Notes:

I don't want to see him again.

I don't know how to get out of it.

But, I know that I don't want to see him again.

Something is wrong with me.

There's no end to how much I suck.

And hindsight is a total fucking bitch.