I slept in today.

Yesterday got interesting.

Somehow my 'self-care' kicked in just enough for me to get in the shower in the morning. Bran called while I was in there and I went through the soaping up and rinsing off while I spoke to him. Then I asked for my ribbon because, hey, I showered.

He was out and about and decided to be on the phone with me.

We were on the phone all the way up to my ride dropping me off at Valkyrie's office (early - by the way).

Valkyrie and I had a good talk, then I came home and tried again to contact my case worker. I ended up talking to one of the main higher ups at her office and finding out that she no longer worked there and no one bothered to tell me. Someone's working it out so I can make it down to the county to refile my paperwork.

So, while I was waiting for her, and getting nowhere, I started seeing what else I was missing on HBO. Since I accidentally paid for a subscription, I might as well use it.

I ended up staying awake until past one in the morning while I binged the final season of The Leftovers.

LOL, yeah… so I slept in today.

Mental Health / Unfuck Yourself:

 - Therapy - Gods Valkyrie and I talked about a lot yesterday. She had a whole fucking page of notes by the time we were done. We talked about that small possibility of Bran coming home. We talked about her acting as an occasional couples counselor to help me work through what's left of my anger and resentment over the screeching harpy situation.

We talked about my persistent feeling of 'aloneness' and what that means, but she really had nothing to offer on how to make me not feel that way. Granted I didn't ask. I'm not really sure there's anything that can be done. It's an irrational emotion brought on by a long-term situation that I have no control over. It will change when my situation changes.

We talked about the Blue Falcon not being there for me this past weekend, and how we all knew that was a thing that would happen eventually.

I don't know… I’m losing steam here… I can't really remember what else we talked about.

 - Writing - See, 'cause I was saving this. We took a significant portion of yesterdays session and we talked about this. She helped me identify right where I am at this moment.

The writing has become a burden. It's no longer a release.

This is not the way it's supposed to be.

It's time to walk away from it for a bit.

It will come back when it's ready to… when I need it to… but not sooner.

 - Reading - I've been taking a little bit of a break from reading… I should get back into it. I think I was just having trouble choking down the latest erotica drivel that the D20 offered up to me… I need to get over my aversion and fucking learn from it, though.

 - Sleep / Fitbit - Not bad all things considered: 8 hours 5 minutes, 3x awake 16x restless, 61 minutes awake/restless

 - Fur-babies - Nothing new to report.

Physical Health / Unfuck Yourself:

 - Weight Management - I'm really glad that the Blue Falcon insisted on that spiralizer. Last night I made a really good, meat rich spaghetti sauce and then I spooned that over zoodles and squadles… OMG, it was so fucking good and FILLING!! I didn't even get hungry for dinner. I had to FORCE myself to eat more before bed! I never would have guessed that replacing pasta with a vegetable would have such results but I'm really reaping the benefits here. And the best part is that there's never a struggle to 'add a vegetable' to the menu. The veg is in there as the MAIN FUCKING DISH.

So good!

Relationships / Family:

 - Bran - We had a really good talk yesterday morning.

I ended up asking if we could just call Monday even and say that neither of us was in a place where we could emotionally support our partner. That we were both having a shitty day and it was bad all around. He kinda laughed and then agreed that it was okay to do that.

He already has a new job. It pays less, but it's working from home, so he'll be saving a lot of money on gas. I'm pretty sure it will even out.

He has an email into his landlord, who just left on a two-week vacation… so there's really no telling when/if Bran is getting out of this lease. And even if he can break it, he's pretty sure that it's still a 60-day notice… so, he's not coming home soon…

It won't be in time to get him on my lease here when it renews. There's no telling what complications are going to arise from that.

He won't be home before our year and a day is up. But, like Valkyrie said, we might have a 'date' by then. We might have some sort of light at the end of the tunnel. We might finally know when he's coming home.

I guess that's about all we can hope for right now.

 - The Unicorn - Nothing new to report.

Relationships / Sweeties:

[ I took out the section on sweetie bio's, the whole 'sweetie' thing never really worked out. I only ended up with a bunch of one night stands. I'm giving up on sweeties. ]

 - Recent Encounters - Nothing new to report.

 - Updates on Favorites -

 - Blue Falcon - I *really* need to be doing the great grand 'back the fuck off' with the Blue Falcon right now. He's been making it clear that he needs to pull back and that I’m relying on his support too much.

He's not abandoning me. He's just pulling back from enabling me.

I really miss him.

But I need to leave him the fuck alone and let him come to me when he's missing me.

Relationships / Potentials and Honorable Mentions:

 - The One Timers - Nothing…

 - The Hopefuls - … new to…

 - Honorable Mentions - … report.

End Notes:

So, yeah…

I slept in today.