A true conundrum to say the least.

Adjustments are being made... I set my alarm to get me up an hour later than normal. This to compensate for going to bed at a much later hour, and also to be less noisy in the morning so Bran can get the sleep that he needs.

It didn't quite go as planned... my alarm was going off a half-hour before his, which had me in coffee before he was ready to be awake. Thus cutting into my Coffee and Contemplation time. Then I decided to skip CaC completely because I have therapy today and I wanted to have my blog entry up before I had to get ready to go for that...  

So, we're still working this out. I need to get up a half hour later tomorrow, but I'm pretty sure that will mean no CaC tomorrow either because I have my blood draw and chiropractor tomorrow.

Thursday on through the rest of the week should be fine, though.  

Hmmm...

Another way around this is that I should just do Coffee and Contemplation in the living room... but I really like being there for Bran and wake up cuddles...  

A true conundrum to say the least.

It's all being worked out... it's way better to have him home and to have these first world problems than to be alone and on top of things.

Mental Health / Unfuck Yourself:

- Therapy – I get to see Valkyrie today... I’m not sure what to really tell her. There's just a lot of adjusting going on, but other than that, what else is there? My panic attacks? Those are perfectly normal under the circumstances? My lack of faith in myself? Probably also normal? I guess we'll just talk about what's been going on and then see if there's anything she can think of that needs to be worked on.

Either that or we're going to be talking about Supernatural again.

- Writing – Still on hold.

- Reading - I finished The Handmaid's Tale, and once I read the after bit I understood more of why the book was written the way it was. I also get that we're not likely to see a Season 2 of the show on HULU unless they intend to go completely speculative on us.

The Alien Conquest book was barely tolerable enough to choke down for five chapters.

Now I'm reading Solan's Mate, and so far I'm really liking this one. It's about 3 human girls who narrowly escape the sex trade on an alien planet. As they're running away they encounter Solan, the Alpha of one of the indigenous wolf shifter clans (there are two). I'm just at the part where Solan has gotten them safely back to his home village, but it's obvious that the rest of the inhabitants are unsure of them as of yet.

It's actually really well written and I'm glad to finally have a little bit of fluff to read on the side that doesn't churn my stomach.

And for my literary piece?!

*drumroll*

I've started reading the complete works of HP Lovecraft!!

I know, I know. For someone who is such a devout Cuthulhu lover, you'd figure I would have done this by now... it's been on my bucket list... now I’m finally checking it off.

- Sleep / Fitbit – 7 hours 35 minutes, 4x awake, 16x restless, 41 minutes awake/restless. *shrug* not bad... not great either, but not bad.

- Fur-babies – No Dreamy yet today... I'm sure he'll come over in a bit.

Physical Health / Unfuck Yourself:

- Other Health – I got a voice mail from my clinic this morning. My primary doctor was going through my chart and only JUST NOW noticed that I had an abnormal pap smear in 2014. [twenty – mother fucking – fourteen! ] So, now they want me to follow up with an OBGYN for a colposcopy... --- lovely.... because those are SO MUCH FUN!

FML

Relationships / Family:

- Bran – He had a little bit of a rough day yesterday, of which I was aware. Then at one point (just after I took a shower and was freshly shaved in the nethers) he walked in on me just as I was about to take a naughty pic for him. I informed him of this and he just kinda smirked a little bit. Then he left the room with the express intention of allowing me to do this thing, LOL.

He came back about a minute later and I got the hell fucked out of me. I'm sure it was a good stress relief for him.

Later last night, after he was home for good, he joined me in the bedroom and decompressed with video games while I read next to him.

I think that's becoming one of my new 'favorite things'.  

I know that he's getting what he needs. He's getting full decompression time without any nagging to do something else like run errands or spend time focused on a shared experience. He's with me, but also in his own little world. We're together, but apart, and I know he's enjoying himself.

And I get time where I'm encouraged to do some reading, which I really need.

He's still my companion, but It's not necessary for us to be 100% engaged with each other at all times and it's not necessary for us to be in separate rooms in order for him to get the decompression time that he needs.

I really like it.

To me, it feels like the best of both worlds.

I hope he likes it as much as I do.

- The Unicorn – Her winter concert is tonight. I'm going with the Blue Falcon. Bran is totally off the hook because he'll still be working. This saddens me, because I still need to run errands, but Bran says he can run them without me. I'll have to make him a list.

But, it's really important that I go to this concert so I can support the Unicorn.  

It's equally important that I not go alone because there's a small chance that I'd run into someone from my blood family there.

The Unicorn is aware of my issues with the blood family and she supports my decision to cut all ties with them. She will always defend me against anything that causes me pain. She's very protective of me.

I’m excited to see her perform and to let her know that the Blue Falcon and I were there for her.

Relationships / Sweeties:

- Updates on Favorites -  

- Blue Falcon – We'll be cutting it close because the concert is at 6:30 and he doesn't get off work until 5. So, he has to get off work – swing by to pick me up – drive us all the way to the Unicorn's school...

I'm sure it will all work out. I'm just excited to have him with me for this.  

He knows how much I need his moral support if the blood family shows up. I’m going to need him to be my strength in that confrontation and to get me the fuck out of there.

Also, it's just nice to be with him.

He's still a part of me.

- Sweeties -

- Bear -  He checked in again last night... it appears that he's actually missing me a lot more than I thought he would. I was sure that he was going to be fine without me, but it turns out that he's actually in withdrawal pretty bad. He's greatly coveting the day Bran goes out of town so he can come over and resume sexual relations with me...  

I'm kinda worried about him.

He knows that I won't abandon him, but I also can't be there for him in the capacity that he really needs right now.

Mostly I just hope he meets a nice girl who will love him and fuck the tar outta him... but she seems elusive.  

Hopefully he and I can work something out eventually.

 - AmbiguSweeties -

 - Pathfinder – Nothing new to report.

Relationships / Just Friends:

Nothing new to report.

End Notes:  

As usual I barely have anything to say in closing, and I'm also cutting things close time-wise, so I do need to get going.

Take care, Everyone!!