There's just so much lost time to make up for.

I've been feeling very clingy lately...  

At first I was just chalking this up to PMS/PMDD shit, but that's over and the clingy is still here, so that's not it.

He's just at work... and yet, I miss the dickens out of him... I just want to hold him and kiss him and never let him go.

I guess it's just aftermath from the extended time apart?

Does it matter?

I appreciate him now.

That's what matters.  

There's just so much lost time to make up for.

Mental Health / Unfuck Yourself:

- Therapy – I think that there's a tangential negative to the clinginess. I'm very aware of my irrational fears of losing him again. I'm aware of all the reasons why the fears are irrational. Including but not limited to 'he shows me love every day' and 'I've proven that I can survive without him if it comes to that'. I know the fears are irrational.

And yet they linger.

Nothing makes the fears go away (well, except cuddling him, which may be another reason for the clinginess).

So, it seems that the best thing I can do is just accept that the emotions are there, but not give into them. You know, don't go all crazy on him and start demanding to see his cell phone and shit like that. Just don't bring it up. Don't give the irrational emotions the power to affect my reality.

Let them be, because they are, but don't let them take over.

- Writing – Still on hold – But Misha's second leg warmer is coming along nicely.

- Reading – I'm not holding as strictly to a chapter for chapter toggle between HP and the shifter series. For one, HP is some pretty dense stuff and it genuinely feels like I need longer breaks to digest him. Secondly, the shifter series is pretty good, even though we're still a bit in 'asshole' phase with our final Alpha. He's starting to soften, but he's not quite there yet.

- Sleep / Fitbit – 8 hours 52 minutes, 10 minutes to fall asleep, 3x awake, 8x restless, 34 minutes awake/restless - I DID put a little post it on my bedside lamp reminding me to manually put my Fitbit into sleep mode. Last night it worked out rather well!! - Now the Fitbit even tells me how long it takes for me to fall asleep. 10 minutes is pretty fucking good!!

- Fur-babies – Dreamy came over for a little bit last night. He doesn't come back to cuddle much. Bran and I both have separate blankets on the bed. His is kinda fluffy and mine is a bit more textured. Dreamy seems to prefer the texture of my blanket over Bran's fluffy one. So, that means instead of curling up next to me (on Bran's side of the bed) He takes over the end of the bed near my feet.

It's all good, though. I still get some pets in and he still knows how much I love him.

Physical Health / Unfuck Yourself:

- INR – 2.4 today, so the meds are right on target. This is a good thing.

Relationships / Family:

- Bran – I’m a little worried that we're not having sex as much as I thought we would be. Before coming home Bran seemed to indicate that this would, at the very least, be a daily thing. Sometimes he even indicated that it might be multiple times daily. And yet, in truth he seems to need some convincing. I'm not sure what's up with that. I know he finds me sexually attractive. I know he's a bit annoyed that his stamina has tanked. I know he knows that the only way to get his stamina back is to have even more sex, and yet... there's just not much going on.

This morning I gave Mo some oral attention and this evening I plan to time my shower to when he's off of work so that I'm naked then.

It also could be stress!! I know his sex drive TANKS when he's stressed.

It's probably stress.

- The Unicorn – Nothing new to report.

Relationships / Sweeties:

- Updates on Favorites -  

- Blue Falcon – I’m not sure what the fuck is up with the Blue Falcon either but he hasn't been responding to my texts all week.

That makes me nervous.

Irrationally nervous, yes, but still nervous.

Logically I know he's still there and that he's got a perfectly valid reason for going radio silent on me... but, hell this dicks with my emotional insecrities!

- Sweeties -

Nothing new to report.

 - AmbiguSweeties -

 - Pathfinder - Nothing new to report.

Relationships / Just Friends:

Nothing new to report.

End Notes:  

I hope Bran snuggles tonight.