Okay, and yes, he boops my nose too...

There are simply no words in any language to describe the sheer joy of waking up next to someone you truly love with all your heart.

Bran is no exception.

He never was.

This is probably the first weekend in 'ever' that I've not set my wake-up alarms. I've always treated weekends as any other day because I have two days in the middle of the week where I don't get any work done because I have medical appointments. So, weekends have always been considered work days too.

But, they're not work days for Bran.

Oh no...

Far from it.

So, last night I didn't program the coffee maker to go off at a specific time. And I left my alarms shut off.

And this morning (or, really, this afternoon) Bran and I roused at the same exact time.

Okay, so here's the best part:

When he wakes up next to me and we're both still mostly asleep. He reaches for me. He pulls me towards him. He cuddles me.

Okay, and yes, he boops my nose too.

But it's those little loving things that let me know where his heart is. It's those little loving things that ease my panic about him not wanting to be here. These are the things I need to know that we're okay, and he does them. And I need him to do them... so very badly.

Totally worth not setting an alarm for.

Mental Health / Unfuck Yourself:

- Therapy – I'm doing pretty good today. The loving out of Bran didn't just happen this morning. There was stuff from last night too. More and more he's showing me where his heart is.  

I mean, yeah, sometimes I still have my nihilistic trust issue twinges... but for the most part I'm lulled into the sense of security that Bran is with  me.

- Writing – Totally not going to happen today. - Bran is playing this new video game that really makes him yell and scream a lot. And yet he swears he's having fun. But, yeah, LOL. There's no way I could get any writing done with him losing his mind next to me. LOL LOL LOL.  

It's totally cool. I just want to knit anyway.

- Reading – I'm seriously into this fluff book that I'm reading. So much so that it's even overriding any desire that I have to read Call of the Cthulhu of all things!! Totally crazy, but I'm really loving this series. Which is great. It's been a while since something made me want to devour it like this.

- Sleep / Fitbit – OMG, I can't fucking believe this. I only JUST NOW remembered that you can manually tell a Fitbit when you're fucking going to sleep. - Okay, not to self: set Fitbit to Slep Mode tonight, because I sure as shit did NOT go to sleep at 8 fucking PM last night.

- Fur-babies – So sweet! Dreamy got to come by last night and I got the chance to explain to Catmom that we're getting up later in the day now. So, I got some kitty cuddles in. Happy day.

Physical Health / Unfuck Yourself:

- Blood Sugar – Yes, I finally fucking tested it this morning. Putting the glucometer on TOP of the coffee mug helps! - And, It's 143 this morning, which is a tad high... there's been a lot of candy and sweets in my life lately, and that's probably part of it, but the other part is one of the meds that I'm on. I do have an appointment with my psychiatrist this month and once we adjust that med it should hopefully even out.

- Exercise/Yoga - Okay, so I really fucking hate myself right now.  

1) I got my period this morning.

2) Bran and I are going shopping later and this always involves me walking the length of a football field at least once.

Ergo, it's my justification that if I do my exercise routine, I will tire myself out too much to go shopping, especially because I'm already wiped out from getting my period.

So, I’m fucking off the exercising today.

Tomorrow too.

The shame of it.

I can feel the Blue Falcon disapproving of me.

Relationships / Family:

- Bran – He ran errands last night after he got off of work... this didn't exactly panic me as much as it normally did. The first trip out he asked me if there was anything I needed before he left, and then he made sure I knew which fast food places he'd be near. I chose a quick, cheap, somewhat caloric dinner item that would satisfy my tummy and would not require me to get up to prepare it.

Yeah... 'cus he's home now and I can be a slug like that again.

So he came back, gave me the update on what he was considering for himself as a future purchase, and handed me my dinner. Then he ate quickly while Dreamy snuck in and grabbed something that slipped off his meal. LOL, Dreamy's the best. I'm glad he got a treat. He inhaled the fucking thing too.

Then he told me he had two more stops he needed to make before he was done for the evening and he could relax.

I don't think I asked him what the first stop was, and if I did, he didn't tell me.

But, he was VERY CLEAR about the second stop. I was NOT to know what it was. It was a surprise.  

He wanted to surprise me with something.

Later he came back with HEALTHY snacks... and chocolate.

So...

Much...

Chocolate...

---

This is love.

This is how he shows love.

It's both scary and wonderful that I’m starting to feel a little safe again.

---

Then he gamed his brains out and screamed at the screen a lot while I read until I was too tired to keep my eyes open. LOL.

It was a good night.

- The Unicorn – Nothing new to report.

Relationships / Sweeties:

- Updates on Favorites -  

- Blue Falcon - Nothing new to report.

- Sweeties -

Nothing new to report.

 - AmbiguSweeties -

 - Pathfinder - Nothing new to report.

Relationships / Just Friends:

Nothing new to report.

End Notes:  

Bran is gaming now.  

I'm done with coffee and getting on about my day.  

I don't know when we're going to leave for grocery shopping, and I'm not worried about it. I just like being in his world while he's gaming. It makes me feel like I’m a part of him.