Recovery takes time...

I've made another new friend in the local poly community via Facebook. She's a really sweet woman going through a bit of a rough patch right now. We have a lot in common, so I've made it a point to reach out to her by commenting on statuses and occasionally posting articles and memes that might give her some strength.  

Then something really terrible was commented on one of her status updates a few days ago and I had to really reach out. I chatted her and asked if she was okay. She wasn't, which didn't surprise me. We talked for a little bit.  

She's totally going to be okay. She's deep in the dark place, but she's been there before and she knows she'll get out in time.  

Like I said, we're a lot alike.

What hurt me though, I sent her a gif-hug and it came out as these floaty hearts. I had to backpedal and clarify that it wasn't a flirtation. Unfortunately, she was hoping that it kinda was. So I had to really dig my heals in and explain – without getting into detail – that I will never trust anything with tits ever again.

She gets it, but I could tell she was a little disappointed.

It honestly had nothing to do with her.  

Seriously, if I was still into chicks, I'd totally dig her a lot.

It's just that I’m still recovering from what that fucking bitch, the Screeching Harpy, did to me... to my husband... to my life.

Recovery takes time...

I don't know if I will ever trust tits enough to date a woman again... I kinda doubt I ever will... but, only time will tell.

I do hope that she and I continue to develop a friendship. I would love to teach her how to knit sometime.

Mental Health / Unfuck Yourself:

- Therapy – So, for weeks now, things have been just peachy. Until last night when I realized that the Screeching Harpy is still in control of what I feel for women. She's still poisoned me. She's still hurting me. She's still there.

Fucking bitch...  

I don't know how long it will take for me to get over her... maybe a really long time... but it pisses me off that it's one more thing that will take ages for me to recover from.

- Writing – Still on hold – But Misha's scarf is coming along nicely.

- Reading – I'll read more eventually.

- Sleep / Fitbit – 9 hours 27 minutes, 2x awake, 21x restless, 52 minutes awake/restless. - We all had a really rough night last night. Bran was gaming and getting really pissed off, which woke up the Unicorn. The Unicorn came to check on us and I invited her to watch with us, but then she got in the line of Bran's sights and got him killed again. This had him VERY PISSED and shutting off the game entirely, but not ready to go to bed yet. The Unicorn returned to the living room to sleep. I was next to Bran, too awake to try going to bed and unable to go to bed because he was still awake, but I was also too tired to do anything on my own like, read a book, or something.

Then, Bran finally said, 'Okay, bedtime' and I got my water and took my meds... but I woke up again a very short time later and the bed next to me was empty and the bedroom door was shut.

For the life of me I couldn't figure out what the hell he was off doing, but I kept waking up every few minutes to an empty bed and a shut door.

Then he finally came to bed and I STILL couldn't get back to sleep.

So, despite how restful that Fitbit says my night was... I assure you it was nothing close to it.

Bran slept right through his alarm this morning and then mine went off which was bad. He needed to BE SOMEWHERE when mine went off. So he had to get up and GO, fast!

Then I slept in...

It's already WAY late in the day and I'm only barely just getting started on things.  

This sucks.

- Fur-babies – We did get a visit from Dreamy last night. He was pretty antsy at first and refused to lay down, but then after a while he came to cuddle for a bit. Catmom was sober, so everything was all pretty normal.

Physical Health / Unfuck Yourself:

Yeah... fuck off.

Relationships / Family:

- Bran – Things seem okay so far. I did give him a brief hug earlier, but he's not come to give me any hugs yet today.

Also, his towel is off the rack and hung up to dry. So THAT'S what he was doing for hours late last night! He was relaxing in the bath!

Things seem okay, though. So, I'm letting them be okay.

- The Unicorn – She slept in deeply late – like WAY late, but then she got woke up by noises outside. Noises I didn't hear because I was in Coffee and Contemplation mode with November and a set of Bluetooth headphones.

So, then she was awake and tired. So I brought her tea (Vanilla Chai) and breakfast in bed (an English Muffin with butter and strawberry jelly) - we're back on track with Supernatural and Seven Deadly Sins now.  :)

Relationships / Sweeties:

- Updates on Favorites -  

- Blue Falcon – It came across the wire last night that Auntie Mame won the movie shuffle and that Movie night will be hosted a day early due to New Year's Eve being on a Sunday. So, I'm looking forward to being at the Blue Falcons with the Unicorn.  :)  Hopefully, he'll like it too.

- Sweeties -

Nothing new to report.

 - AmbiguSweeties -

 - Pathfinder - Nothing new to report.

Relationships / Just Friends:

Nothing new to report.

End Notes:  

I gotta go. It's Seven Deadly Sins time and I need to be able to focus on the plot and shit.