So, it's not exactly a writer's block, but it's similar...

My milk went bad again.

It was dated two days ago.

I wish I would have paid attention to that because it meant sacerificing my final cup of coffee this morning.

I still have some backup caffeine in soda form, but that's caffeine in carbonation that my body does not appreciate.

In other news, I've been incorporating the Yarn Therapy in with the Coffee and Contemplation. During the 'hour' of show I can get half a row of diamonds done. (entrelac)

Today I’m trying something different for background noise. I’m picking horror movies at random on Amazon rather than putting up with the ads on Pluto.

So disjointed, I know.

Mental Health / Unfuck Yourself:

- Therapy – I think it's time to start backing off on some of my psyche meds... the only reason I was taking so many was because of A) dealing with the Screeching Harpy's antics last year, B) dealing with Bran being gone this year), and C) the fact that I can't sleep for shit. The only one of these issues that still remains is C: Sleep. Besides, one of the side effects is higher blood sugars and my sugars have been way too high for my liking. So, this will mean seeing my psychiatrist more often while we temper these down to a more reasonable level.  

I'm good with that.

- Writing – I really dug deep this morning. I didn't exactly stare at the blank screen or read over any previous work to see if I had any continuation in me, but I did stare at the category block on my calendar slated for writing time... and I found that the writing still seems to be eluding me.  

This doesn't upset me. I know I shouldn’t force it. I strongly believe that the writing will come when it's ready to come. I know it hasn't left me for good. I just seem to be in a 'recharge' phase.

I think I’m still adjusting to Bran being home.

Even with our comfort levels being where they are, I still think my more sensitive (much deeper) bits are still letting the dust settle a bit.

Think of it like the issues I had after being homeless for so long. I'd been in survival mode for so long that once I had a safe/stable environment I just shut down. Being taken out of survival mode was just as traumatic as being forced into it.

When Bran was gone I was definitely in a type of heavy survival mode.  

I think it's perfectly reasonable that it would take me a while to adjust to not being in that dark place anymore. I have to get used to being happy again.

So, it's not exactly a writer's block, but it's similar.

- Reading – Same as before / Lovecraft and Shifters, heavy on the shifters.

- Sleep / Fitbit – I’m really annoyed right now. Even with the manual sleep recording it still pulled in my relaxed time as sleep time... damn that pisses me off.

- Fur-babies – Both Dreamy and Splotches came over last night.  Splotches made a lot of noise, though, so Dreamy didn't really go down for his nap at all. Then Bran brought me a couple slices of happy nom. I ate one and then I tore up the other one for Dreamy. He's such a good boy. He deserves the treat.

Physical Health / Unfuck Yourself:

- Blood Sugar – 149 this morning... not happy about that at all.

- INR – 2.4 yesterday – nearly perfect – so that's good.

- Exercise/Yoga - I'm not looking forward to it, but I will do this today.

Relationships / Family:

- Bran – I was able to charm him into some sex yesterday, after which he took a four hour bath...

Yeah...  

Not really sure where the hell to put that... like, at all.  

Should I take that as a sign to maybe back the fuck off and just let him come to me when he's ready? Am I pushing it too much and is he feeling like a piece of meat? That's been a problem in the past, you know? It has nothing to do with me or how much he his or isn't attracted to me. It has to do with some dark shit from his past where he was used for his body a lot.  

And I mean, a whole lot.

I don't want to put him in that kind of position. To be honest, the sex really doesn't do that much for me. Bran is way too fucking gentle. It was more about me wanting that intimate connection with him and then I didn't really feel it. I felt more intimate just snuggling once he came out of the bath.

Yeah... it's probably a good idea for me to back off when it comes to the sex.

Goddess only knows what this last year has been like for him, really. There's no telling what kind of trauma he might still be processing.

He's got to come out of survival mode too.

I need to give him the space to do that.

- The Unicorn – Nothing new to report.

Relationships / Sweeties:

- Updates on Favorites -  

- Blue Falcon – I'm still unnerved by how much I've NOT heard from the Blue Falcon lately... especially since I shipped the Unicorn's winter holiday gift to him so it wouldn't get stolen...  

I need to get that from him before this weekend.

- Sweeties -

Nothing new to report.

 - AmbiguSweeties -

 - Pathfinder - Nothing new to report.

Relationships / Just Friends:

Nothing new to report.

End Notes:  

I’m in no hurry to wrap this up... exercise comes hot on the heals of getting this posted... but after that I can pretty much relax and knit for the rest of the day... so, yeah... I might as well get on with it.