It was totally worth it...

Today has been a really good day so far. And I’m getting to today's entry much later in the day than normal for several reasons. The first and foremost being the continued adjustments in the sleep schedule.

Last night Bran and I got done/tired right at the same time – bedtime ensued.  

This morning I had my alarm set a half hour later than yesterday morning. 9:30 (a full hour and a half later than my normal), but this is about the time I was expecting Bran to arouse so he could head off to work at an optimal time.  

So, I started my cycle of hitting my snooze button, but Bran's alarms weren't going off. I roused him gently around 9:45 and we both slowly woke up together.

There was hand holding...

There was nose booping...

He tugged on Cas T. Elephant's trunk and every time he did that I groped Mo*…

Just in general... it was this lazy sort of loving 'hi, you're here and we're both still half asleep, but I love you'.

All the readjusting of the last week and a half... all the tired eyes and discomfort. It's all led to this.

O... M... G...  

It was totally worth it.

Mental Health / Unfuck Yourself:

- Therapy – Valkyrie and I talked about my trust and abandonment issues and we both agree that they're more than normal under the circumstances. So, they're nothing that needs to be fought against. It's best to just accept them and let them be.  

However, accepting them doesn't mean I have to go all crazy suspicious every time Bran leaves the house either. I'm not freaking out on him. I'm not demanding to look at his phone history. I'm not throwing my issues in his face or blaming him for doing this to me.

No... I'm just relaxing and riding this out. It took him over seven years to get me past my trust and abandonment issues when we first met, so there's no telling how long it's going to take him this time, but I'm willing to give him every chance to.  

Valkyrie says that's the best approach to take and she's really proud of me for getting there on my own. I told Blue Falcon about it too and he's also Impressed by my ability to handle this.

- Writing – I'm going to try tomorrow... no promises, though.

- Reading – I got kind of accustomed to HP's stories being a little short winded, so when I got to The Colour Out of Space I was really disappointed with how unbearably long winded and BORING it was. It went into such technical detail that I just wished HP would have shut the fuck up.  

As a result, I spent the rest of last night and all of today on my fluff series.

My next HP is Call of Cthulhu, and I just want to be in a better head space for it.

- Sleep / Fitbit – Readings are way off – taking down time as sleep time again.

- Fur-babies – No Dreamy today, probably slept through this morning's visit and I might not be here for the pre-evening visit if the Blue Falcon needs me... so, possibly no Cat Therapy today.

Physical Health / Unfuck Yourself:

- INR - It's low today, only 1.8 and for the life of me I can't come up with any reason why it should be so low... Medication Management has raised my dose for tomorrow, hopefully that should even things out.

- Nervous System – I told my chiropractor about my left shoulder acting up and he did what he could about it. It sure was tight when he was doing the Active Release. I'm hoping that the Torque Release has solved whatever was pissing it off.

- Inflammation – I’m running low on Turmeric, and I have a bad feeling I'm going to have to go without for a bit... with all my other expenses, I just don't think I can afford it right now. This does not make me happy... if the pain gets to be real bad I'll let Bran know, but I'll try to hold off as long as I can.

- Exercise/Yoga - // - Weight Management – The Blue Falcon is riding my ass pretty hard about exercising and getting in better shape. He works out twice a day now and he's really seeing results. He's seeing the kinds of results I never see because he's at it for a long time and he's doing a number of different types of exercises. He's also doing it twice a day.

Not only am I A) a wimp with zero stamina, but I'm also B) a slug with zero motivation.

Also, time is always a factor.

And yet I spend hours reading or watching TV a day...

Something needs to change, and I KNOW it needs to change. Not just because the Blue Falcon won't stop riding my ass about it, but because I'm still gaining weight when I should be losing it.

I need to do better, and I’m fully aware of this fact...  

There's a 40 minute seated cardio routine saved to my YouTube... I think I need to start pushing myself a little bit more.

Relationships / Family:

- Bran – I'm still just all floaty from waking up next to him this morning... it was just so wonderful. Now I know that's the way things are meant to be with us.

Last night we did more of my favorite thing too. I just lounged next to him and read my book while he played his video games. It was perfect.

I think I need to bake him a cake...  

Saturday I should bake him a cake.

He's invited to Movie Night with Me and the Blue Falcon on Sunday, to which he said 'maybe', which in Bran-Speak is no. I guess he's just not ready to be around the Blue Falcon yet.

The Blue Falcon has been made aware of the fact that Bran has confessed to insecurities before. Now, whether or not those insecurities are still in play now, we don’t know. It just seems that Bran is okay talking to the Blue Falcon over the phone, but mentions of seeing him in person seem to be met with solid objection.  

It's even possible that Bran isn't even aware that he's doing it. Either way, I don't want to force him, but I DO wish he'd speak up.

Closed mouths don't get fed.

- The Unicorn – Last night was her Winter Concert and she was GREAT!!

The Blue Falcon and I got to say goodbye to her after the performance. I got to say hi to her best friend, whom I haven't seen in ages. I also got the chance to tell her dad that she's seen The Fifth Element now. Somehow he assumed that it was with the Blue Falcon again. I don't think he understands that the Blue Falcon and I are just friends and that he DOESN'T live with me!! OMG, such an idiot.

Anyway. It was just great to be there supporting her.

I wish I would have had the opportunity to speak with one of her choir mates... that kid had great hair and deserved to be complimented on it. He had some straight up Steve Harrington hair.

The performance itself left a little bit to be desired. The extent of the diversity was either Christian or Jewish. I would have loved to have heard at least one Pagan song about Yule. It would have been great to have a Krampus song too, LOL.

The Blue Falcon was impressed that NONE of the Jewish-Specific songs were Dreidel Dreidel Dreidal! So, I was glad for that too.

I'm just glad I was there. I'm glad I had someone like the Blue Falcon to go with me.

Relationships / Sweeties:

- Updates on Favorites -  

- Blue Falcon – The main reason why I don't like to go to anything involving the Unicorn in 'family welcome' public alone is because I don't want to run the risk of running into my parents. They're terrible people and I hate them. Even the Unicorn is aware of this and even she would seek to protect me from them.

I'm SO very fortunate that I have someone like the Blue Falcon who was willing to be my escort and my protector for the evening. He was very happy to be there for me too.

I kinda fucked up, though.

We got there WAY early because we showed up for the 6th and 7th grade performance at 6:30 when the Unicorn's performance didn't start until 8.

However, that gave us time for us to run to Target so he could buy a shirt (so he wasn't in his work uniform) and also grab some dinner.  

I smuggled home waffle fries for Bran.

Anyway...

He's really really really on me about exercising.

He's not wrong.

I’m glad I have someone like him to push me.

- Sweeties -

Nothing new to report.

 - AmbiguSweeties -

 - Pathfinder - Nothing new to report.

Relationships / Just Friends:

Nothing new to report.

End Notes:  

Bran has come to visit me a few times during this entry and I'm noticing that even though I'm technically 'writing', I'm not finding myself disturbed by the interruptions.

I’m not sure how well that's going to pan out once I get down to the real creative writing... I'm hoping it will continue to be okay... if not, I think I can try to make it okay.

He's more important than anything else in my life right now.

He is my life right now.

--

*Mo is the name of Bran's nether bit.