Happy Xmas...

Or not…

I'm lonely, and I hate being alone like this. With Bran gone this day just doesn't feel right in any way. I feel empty without the promise of Chinese food and a day in with Netflix. I don't even know if he's going to call me today. He probably won't. He probably won't be able to get away from that back stabbing bitch long enough to make any part of today count.

Worse, yesterdays yoga was a total bust. I just couldn't find my center. I wound up doing some quick clean up and soaking a load of dishes before a potential came over.

Ugh… I don't even know how to express my disappointment there. He's nowhere near as Intelligent as I like my sweeties to be. The sex was substandard. And he said he's Definitely. Coming. Back.

I know he needs it. I know I’m being called to healer duty for someone who is also being hit hard by lies and betrayal around this time of year. And I don't mind giving. Shit, I've been all about the take when it comes to my sweeties. I had to have known the price would eventually be giving. I'm okay with that.

Giving DID help me.

I'm not stewing in resentment towards Bran today. So, that's a plus side.

My current narrative is suffering from an identity crisis though. So, writing is a bit of a bust. I have a request in for a gift membership to Scrib. I don't know yet if I will get it. I'm hopeful that I will. Otherwise Scrib will have to come out of my February GA. January's GA is going towards web site hosting. There will probably be enough cash left over for me to get a hair cut. It is so badly needed.

On the sweetie front, I'm toying with two new code names. You know how I like to hold back on those until I'm sure, right?

… well…  I'm feeling pretty confident about these to.

If I stay with the military call signs, potential #1 would be Echo. And holy fuck if that isn't appropriate. We're stunningly compatible on just about every level and he's a BPD as well. We both agree that our similarities will be an awesome combination.

The other, I think I'll hold off on, for now. His military call sign would be Romeo, and I'm going to be just as stingy with that one as I am Alpha.

Fuck Christmas.

Today is just another day.

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UPDATE:

I held off on posting this until I had told Echo about his name and GINGERSNAP JUST CHECKED IN!!  OMG OMG OMG…

Fuck…

I love him so much.