No feedback at all
from Gingersnap recently. Even when I sent him a long note letting him know
that I will have the Unicorn for nearly two weeks straight and letting him know
that I wouldn’t be able to play during that time. Yesterday I DID actually manage
to go the entire day without messaging him.
It's okay though. I
know he hasn't forgotten me, and to be honest I haven't exactly been guest
ready the last couple of days either. My place is a mess because I've been a
mess. I've been battling the most apocalyptic ear infection and the pain has
had me unable to sleep or to do much to function during the days.
Yesterday I had to
be awake at 5 am just to make sure I was caffeinated enough to make it out to
an 8 am doctor appointment. Then that ended at 8:30 but the service I call for
medical rides wasn't open until 9. So, I had to wait to call them just so I could
add in an extra trip to the pharmacy. Then came the waiting, and the checking,
and the calling in to find out the status, only to find out that the extra trip
had never even been entered. So, then there was the calling back, the
rescheduling, and more waiting… And finally the ride.
All in all, I didn't
make it home until noon.
I was too tired to
do anything productive, so I had nothing to distract me from the soul crushing
loneliness. All I kept feeling was Bran's absence, and knowing that if he'd
never left, I'd have someone to take care of me. I wouldn't have had to deal
with the whole muck-up to get to the pharmacy because he would have either
driven me himself or gone for me. I wouldn't have to get up and cook a full
meal just to eat because he would have ran out and grabbed a burger for me.
Then, to make
matters worse, when I talked to him yesterday he mentioned 'just in passing'
that coming home in the spring might be off the table if the bosses want
something else from him. Fucker… worst timing. Ever. That was not the best
moment to tell me that his homecoming could be delayed, or even a 'not at all'
kind of thing.
But, then, of
course, my thoughts just went right back to Gingersnap.
I know I can at
least find love without Bran. But, I think the 'spring' is as long as I'm
willing to wait before 'moving on'. Unless I get something concrete from him.
I'll probably begin seeking other relationships. He'll have to work at sharing
or winning me back if he comes back at all.
I'm sorry…
There's a limit to
how long I'm willing to wait for him.
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