On the one hand...

I'm stuck on an internal conflict right now.

On the one side, I enjoy chit-chatting with Nirvana. He keeps my mind off Gingersnap, off Bran, off a lot of things really.

On the other side, my productivity TANKS because so much of my morning and early afternoon is getting taken up by him.

I have to ask myself, what is my productivity all about, really? It's about recovery, right? Yes.

So, isn't having healthy interpersonal relationships just as much a part of recovery too? Should I be snipping at him any more or any less than I've snipped at Bran in the past when he interrupted my writing?

Or should I take a step back, and appreciate the fact that I seem to have a healer in my midst. Perhaps someone who can make my need for recovery a distant memory.

I think I can answer that for myself.

I'm going to tap Whiskey later, ask him what he thinks about the most recent episode of Supernatural. Hopefully I get a tap back.

I’m considering archiving Gingersnap. I'm just not sure I can look at his empty/un-returned messages in my list anymore.

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Update:

Just heard from Nirvana. Our plans for Monday have been aborted. Personal reasons on his end.

I'm okay. I needed to be able to feed my daughter for two weeks anyway.

And… okay, maybe it is time to re-reevaluate my goals.

Good.