Away with you...

I've decided to take an extra heavy dose of my own fucking advice and stop guilt tripping myself over how the recent bout of depression is affecting my work.

If it were anyone else, I would be telling them that it's okay to feel their feels and that it's okay to give themselves permission to rest.

So, that's what I'm going to do.

Besides, I'm only a few short days away from the Unicorn's Staycation anyway, and I know I'll get no work done during that time. So, I've pushed all my work related calendar and task list reminders out to the day after she leaves.

Nuff said.

Mental Health / Unfuck Yourself:

 - Therapy - / - Writing - A significant portion of my guilt stems from the fact that my current Scribophile subscription was a gift, and I’m wasting that precious gift. But, I must need this down time or it wouldn't be happening to me. So I might as well take it.

 - Reading - I finished the book I was reading and I fucking loved it. I left a rave review of it on Amazon. So, now I'm aware that 'Paranormal Romance' is the niche where I want to do most of my reading. But, I have a lot of other books in my Kindle to sift through as well.

I tried finding a new story to read right away and was vastly disappointed with the next one I pulled off of my shelf. I think I was in the second paragraph before the author fucked up and used the word 'crouch' instead of 'crotch'. UGH! Literally no care whatsoever put into the work and this shit got published?! Why am I so worried about my work not being well received?

I also want to help out the other authors from my erotica group. So I think I'm going to start reading some of their stuff next.

I really want to focus on reading other indie authors too. I know I have a lot of those. Hopefully it will be enough to keep me busy.

I really wish there were a way for Kindle to put things on a front shelf or a back shelf so it's easier to find the book you're looking for.

So, I did find a book written by someone in my erotica group, but I couldn't get into it right away. I decided I needed a pallet cleanser and I spent most of yesterday watching horror movies.

I think I'm ready to read today, though.

 - Sleep / Fitbit - In bed on time even though I didn't want to. Snoozed the half hour even though I shouldn't have.

8 hours 55 minutes, 1x awake, 11x restless, 24 minutes awake/restless.

So, not a bad night at all. I’m halfway through second coffee and I’m already pretty awake.

 - Fur-babies - Nothing new to report.

Physical Health / Unfuck Yourself:

Um…

 … yeah, I'll get right on this…

(runs away and hides)

Relationships / Family:

 - Bran - We talked last night on his way home. He had a decent day, but there's not much more to say other than that. We're both still struggling to survive this separation and we still have no indication of when it might end.

He's been gone for so long… it's going to be so hard to adjust to him when he comes back.

I'm kinda glad that I’m fucking up royally with the sweeties right now. Less distractions when he does come back. Right now it would just be the Blue Falcon and I can really live with that being the case for as long as it takes for the Blue Falcon to find a mate.

*sigh*

Come on, Karma.

Just let it end already.

 - The Unicorn - Staycation starts this Friday… we're counting down!

Relationships / Sweeties:

[ If you're a reader and having trouble keeping the code named sweeties straight, look up above this entry and below the header. There's a link to a list of names/bio's there. - this is a work in progress, so if you're a sweetie and you don't see your name listed, don't worry, I'll get to you. ]

 - Recent Encounters - I kinda doubt anything new will be posted here for awhile.

 - Updates on Favorites - 

 - Blue Falcon - I'm not sure, but I think I'm invited to his virtual Movie Night tonight. I'd go just to be close to him even if he'd be more focused on his guests from around the globe. At least I'd be petting a kitty, and who knows. I might get a tiny cuddle out of the deal.

I'm showering today just in case.  :)

Relationships / Potentials and Honorable Mentions:

 - The One Timers - Nothing new to report.

 - The Hopefuls - I received a snap from the somewhat pushy guy on Fet, but I didn't respond.

I'm NOT ghosting him… I'm just not ready to engage in conversation again. Not yet.

I need to feel better first.

 - Honorable Mentions - I'm starting to think I need to add a section for 'dishonorable mentions'.

I talked to some yahoo on OKC yesterday morning who was on an on about how I'd fix my depression if I just masturbated.

What the fuck?!

Okay, YES, there is documented, scientific proof that an orgasm can help with depression. But it's only MILD depression.

What I have is way fucking severe, and deep… one tiny little orgasm isn't even going to fucking touch it. And not only that, the damage to my arm just doesn't make it worth it.

I have reasons to masturbate, and I'll get to it when the time is right… but, sorry dude. I did NOT ask for your advice, nor did I appreciate you shoving it down my throat without permission.

Fuck right the hell off.

End Notes:

So, that's it… my Rx is rest and relaxation for the next two weeks. Give or take.

Hopefully I'll get to keep you updated with these journal entries, but sometimes the Unicorn has a LOT to say early in the mornings!!

She doesn't like to recognize when I'm busy.

So, we'll see.