Straight talk only...

So, I had not one but two dates crash and burn on me yesterday.

On the one hand, this is freaking me out because I know I might not have much time left with the Blue Falcon before he's ready to move on with someone else.

But, on the other hand, I’m listening to Valkyrie's advice on the fact that I'm being fed in other ways right now.

These are more in a long line of being either stood up or last minute canceled on. Then add in the two that I just had to block too.

Something's protecting me from the duds.

I would have to go back through my entries to be sure, but I think my last date that actually worked out was Pathfinder. And, boy did that one ever work out! Granted, yes, Pathfinder has already moved on, but you get my meaning here.

Only the worthy are even getting close to me anymore.

The others still try, but they never reach me. They're never given the chance to hurt me.

That's quite the energy shift compared to what I've grown accustomed to.

--

Side note:

Valkyrie touched on this in our last session.

I don't even think she realized what she was saying or knew how it would resonate with me.

We were talking about the Blue Falcon and the little wish in the back of my mind that his 'moving on' partner would want to be non-monogamous. Then Valkyrie made some muttering about how that would evolve the Blue Falcon into a 'secondary'.

She's right, you know.

What I want has evolved.

I don't want something 'non-serious' anymore.

I want Bran back as my husband, but I'm getting to the point where I want someone like the Blue Falcon on the side as a boyfriend too.

Right now it's just a want. I don't think it's something that I'd actively pursue. Nothing side serious has ever worked out for myself or Bran before. So, it's actually a dangerous want to have. But, I wanted to at least acknowledge it here so that I'm not lying to myself about it.

Straight talk only…

Mental Health / Unfuck Yourself:

 - Therapy - / - Writing - This didn't get touched yesterday because I was too busy waiting for the dick head that never showed.

Asshole.

 - Sleep / Fitbit - Finally a normal night. 8 hours 19 minutes, 3x awake 19x restless, 34 minutes awake/restless.

 - Fur-babies - I saw Splotches briefly on the inner steps when I was waiting for one of my dates. He was very friendly and happy to see me. I received many purrs and kisses.

Physical Health / Unfuck Yourself:

 - INR - I haven't been answering my phone for fear of collections, and I know that means I've been missing my calls from the clinic that adjusts my blood thinners. But, you know what. I adjusted them myself and I don't even remember what I did. So, we're just going to leave it at that.

I know, I'm terrible.

Relationships / Family:

 - Bran - It's all the same… nothing new here. We talk… we miss each other… we love each other…

He's trying his best, but he's still not coming home any time soon that we know of.

 - The Unicorn - A week and a half to staycation.

Relationships / Sweeties:

[ If you're a reader and having trouble keeping the code named sweeties straight, look up above this entry and below the header. There's a link to a list of names/bio's there. - this is a work in progress, so if you're a sweetie and you don't see your name listed, don't worry, I'll get to you. ]

 - Recent Encounters - Nothing new to report.

 - Updates on Favorites -

 - Blue Falcon - I really should message him and let him know when the Unicorn's staycation starts, so he knows when our time limit is on naked snuggles before September… but, I just feel like he needs his space right now.

He'll contact me when he's ready.

Relationships / Potentials and Honorable Mentions:

 - The One Timers - Nothin…

 - The Hopefuls - … new to…

 - Honorable Mentions - … report.

End Notes:

Straight talk only.

I don't know what I can say that hasn't already been said.

I think I'll just close for now.