My laptop is having serious internet and other issues. I'm completely locked out of it. (grump) So, I'm doing this mornings entry on the Chromebook. Her name is November.
Anyway – I expect that in the next few days my updates are going to be made via my data.wi-fi hotspot and November anyway, so I might as well get used to her.
Updates are going to be wonky... most likely made in the evening instead of the morning. I'm not sure how this whole road trip is going to play out with my journal entries, especially since the Unicorn uses November for her Netflix viewing.
Anyway!
On we blindly stumble...
Mental Health / Unfuck Yourself:
- Therapy – I expect the next few days with the Blue Falcon to be very good for me. He's even offered to let me sleep next to him in the hotels because he's nice, quiet and stationary. Whereas the Unicorn sleeps like she's being attacked by bees.
- Writing – Hopefully, all this positive time with the Unicorn and the Blue Falcon will improve my writer's block too.
- Reading – I'm reading a collection of shorts by a woman obsessed with paranormal MFM threesomes. Usually, a human girl getting the hell fucked out of her by two absolutely gorgeous supernatural men. I can see where she's coming from. These are her sexual fantasies and she was brave enough to publish them. One could almost overlook the glaring grammar errors and just focus on the fantasies.
...
Almost...
I'll leave her a good review anyway.
- Sleep / Fitbit – 8 hours 11 minutes, 2x awake, 17x restless, 36 minutes awake/restless.
- Fur-babies – Nothing new to report.
Physical Health / Unfuck Yourself:
- Blood Sugar – I forgot again...
Relationships / Family:
- Bran – It's all the same... I just miss him... and it hurts... and it won't stop hurting...
- The Unicorn – We got to have a little time with the Blue Falcon yesterday before he needed to leave and take care of more road trip prep. Then we settled in for some Buffy/Angel, but we didn't stay up late. We need to get used to going to bed early and getting up early. The Blue Falcon is going to have us on a pretty tight schedule.
Relationships / Sweeties:
[ If you're a reader and having trouble keeping the code named sweeties straight, look up above this entry and below the header. There's a link to a list of names/bios there. - this is a work in progress, so if you're a sweetie and you don't see your name listed, don't worry, I'll get to you. ]
- Recent Encounters – Nothing new to report.
- Updates on Favorites -
- Blue Falcon – I was talking to a trans girl I know on OKC and she moaned a bit about how badly she wanted a relationship with someone who would treat her as a woman. Just as a woman, and not as a trans woman. *sigh* the hampster wheel spun because I know with everything in me that the Blue Falcon could give her that.
So, I played matchmaker. He's definitely interested in seeing her, even if it's just to prove to her that there are good people in the world who will treat her the way she needs to be treated.
But, in the process of this discussion, I found myself trying to explain again how hard it's going to be for me to let him go and not be his lover anymore when he moves on.
I think that because he doesn't feel love, he doesn't see the distinction between platonic and not-platonic. He doesn’t realize the level of emotional attachment or what I'll be losing when I let him go.
I got emotional and he saw that immediately... he came to my side and held me.
Fuck me... for someone who can't feel love, he's so mother fucking loving.
But, I really need to try harder to get through to him about the differences that will happen in our relationship once we're just friends. I don't know if that's an appropriate conversation for us to have with the Unicorn around, but I'm sure I'll figure something out.
Relationships / Potentials and Honorable Mentions:
- The One Timers – Nothing...
- The Hopefuls - … new to...
- Honorable Mentions - … report.
End Notes:
So... I should get on to posting this... I have packing and shit to do today.
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