Coffee and Contemplation...

Most mornings I proceed directly into Order of Operations. AKA my 'Things To Do' Lists. Yes, ListS, as in plural. From what I understand, this is typical of INFJ's, we're very 'task list' orientated.  

To be honest, it's really the only way I stay on top of things. I have to keep lists to remind me to do everything. Even just to check the mail and make sure I have enough ice. I track my shit too. Personal metrics. It's a thing.

ANYWAY!

Most mornings, it's right to the lists.

Mondays and Fridays are the exceptions. Those are my Coffee and Contemplation mornings. Those of you who are fans of Stranger Things will get the geek reference.  

Friday mornings I watch Supernatural.

Monday mornings I watch The Walking Dead.

I just can't proceed through my day if I don't know what the fuck happened, LOL.

Mental Health / Unfuck Yourself:

- Therapy – Still no major spikes in the bad juju... Creativity seems to be slowly coming back online too. I'm thinking of things. Contemplating doing things. In some cases, actually DOING things... Still too soon to call me 'good'… but maybe I won't jinx it if I risk saying 'not bad'.

- Writing – I woke up hearing the voices yesterday. My characters were talking. I ended up putting in a 1H1K into the most recent Ghost Story: The Real You. (1H1K = One thousand words in one hour). This morning they're still talking. I needed to figure out how I was going to get them having sex and I figured it out. It's going to be interesting to write, I just don't quite know when that sex scene is going to come into play or what I'm going to do with them after. Is it a relationship? Or is it just a one-time thing? Not sure yet...  

- Reading – Nothing new to report.

- Sleep / Fitbit – 7 hours 31 minutes, 3x awake, 10x restless, 28 minutes awake/restless. Hey, any night where It's less than a half hour of awake/restless time. I call that good!

- Fur-babies – This mornings end to The Walking Dead was particularly brutal and painful to watch. I was beyond heart broken. That knock on my door couldn't have happened at a more perfect time. I got my dreamy cuddles to get me past the pain. Cat Therapy... love it.

Physical Health / Unfuck Yourself:

- Exercise/Yoga - I need to find the motivation to exercise. I just don't know where to even dig for it and it's killing me. Quite literally! This is one of those things I hope turns around when Bran comes home. I know he feels he needs to get into a gym more too. And there's an exercise place just down the block. Maybe we can join there. Something... anything... I can do it if he's with me.

Relationships / Family:

- Bran – For some reason my phone bill has not been paid. This is entirely out of my hands as it's covered by a third party. As a result, my already meager communication with Bran has been ground to a screeching halt. We tried talking over my Google Voice this morning, but it was coming through so garbled that I could barely even get the whole story about the dog pooping inside before he woke up today.

I'm glad I got that story, though. LOL.

Screeching Harpy is the kind of person who loves the cold and purposely chooses to live in a more northern climate just to be cold... and her own therapy dog hates the cold... so, it's going to poop inside a lot.  

She's going to have to deal with a lot of shit.

If that isn't karmic poetry in motion, I don't know what is.

- The Unicorn - Nothing new to report.

Relationships / Sweeties:

[ I took out the section on sweetie bio's, the whole 'sweetie' thing never really worked out. I only ended up with a bunch of one night stands. I'm giving up on sweeties. ]

- Recent Encounters - Nothing new to report.

- Updates on Favorites -  

- Blue Falcon – OMG.... I love him more and more every time I get to spend mere moments with him.

Last night was Movie Night, and it was a free weekend for me so I was able to attend.  

He doesn't host physical beings at his place. Everyone logs on to a website where we can all watch the movie together and participate in a group chat to offer reactions. It's pretty sweet. Last night was Tucker and Dale vs. Evil. This is a movie that several people have been suggesting I see for the longest time and I've just dug my heels in and said NO because it's a comedy.

I was willing to watch it with the Blue Falcon, though. Because It's the Blue Falcon. Funny is GOOD with him around. Laughter is a key part of our relationship. I don't like laughing alone. My laughter needs to be shared with someone. So I was totally game to watch it with him.

I ended up loving it, but I'll also admit that I loved it more because he was there with me. Or, rather, I was there with him.

The rest of the date was pure Blue Falcon 'this is why I love you'. He texted me in the afternoon and asked if I needed to run errands and I told him that a quick Walgreens run would be great. I was low on milk and out of chocolate. I grabbed some cookies too.  

He was so sweet for asking. I have so much trouble asking for help and he knows it. So he offered. And I love him for it.

As we were checking out I picked up a Stroopwaffle... we have no idea what the fuck a Stroopwaffle is, but it looked interesting, so we were game to try it.

As we were leaving we settled on Pizza for the evening meal.  

On the drive I told him about the rebirth of the writing and about some of the shows I'm watching. He told me about The Orville, which I had mistaken for a terrible show. He wanted me to check it out so he showed me the first episode and WOW! This is definitely a series I'm going to watch from now on!!

After the movie, he offered cuddles.

OMG... he offered cuddles!

I love him so much!

We decided to stay clothed, and then he was soon yawning, so it was time to call it quits and he drove me home.

I love him so much.

It's going to be so sad when he's not my sweetie anymore. I'm going to miss being so close to him.

I got home and proceeded to wind down, eating my cookies... then I happened upon the forgotten Stroopwaffle... whoops!

Now we need another date soon, LOL.

- Sweeties -

- Bear – I got a message last night from the sweet and wonderful Bear. He was just checking up on me. I confessed my loneliness and he said he has people to hang out with today, but he could probably come by tonight. I confessed to being needy and he told me he actually likes me being needy with him.  

This makes total sense. He's such a giver that he's been taken advantage of his whole life. I make him feel wanted and appreciated when I need him, so it's a good thing that I'm needy with him.

We both confessed to missing each other.

I don't know how much longer it's going to be before I'm comfortable admitting that I love him to his face... I feel like I should admit this thing soon... I'm sure he'd love to hear it... I don't know why I'm holding back.

I should just tell him tonight.

I should just suck it the fuck up and tell him.

I think Bear has more than proven that he's someone I can be vulnerable with.

- Rain - Nothing new to report.

Relationships / Just Friends:

Nothing new to report.

Relationships / Potentials and Honorable Mentions:

- The One-Timers – Nothing...

- The Hopefuls - … new to...

- Honorable Mentions - … report.

End Notes:  

Not much to say in closing... just that it's time to get on with shit.

I’m still hearing the voices. So, I'm going to attempt another 1H1K today.

Wish me luck!!