This is going to suck.

I so don't want to go through with today. I just want to curl up in my bed and hide with sweet popcorn and chocolate bars.  

I don't want plyers in my mouth taking away yet another tooth. I don't want this. I do not want.

But, I have to go through with it. I have to be brave and endure all the wrenching, the blood, the pain.

Blue Falcon is on deck after he gets off work. If I have a prescription for a more heavy duty pain killer, he'll help me get it. He won't stay around after, but that's okay. I got cuddles from him last night. (yes, the update is below in his section)

I'll probably blow through the last of Sense8 tonight... ugh... and then I'll be stuck with an extra hole in my head and a show hole... so I'm going to have to figure out a way around that too.

This is going to suck.

Mental Health / Unfuck Yourself:

- Therapy – Every time I talk to Bran, he's able to say something that alleviates the anxiety just a little bit more. I'm slowly starting to trust that he's coming home. Yes, trust is still a dangerous thing here. But, maybe things are finally going to be okay... who knows.

- Writing – Still on hold.

- Reading – I did start a new series, but so far I'm not impressed with it. I did tell the Blue Falcon that I'm getting less and less tolerant of bad writing and writing that doesn't suit my tastes and he's SO FUCKING HAPPY that I’m finally getting a reader back bone, LOL.  

Yeah, I'll admit that I was a little overdue on that.

- Sleep / Fitbit – The readings are off... for some reason the Fitbit thinks I got up at 9:16 instead of 8:35... weird.

- Fur-babies – Nothing new to report.

Physical Health / Unfuck Yourself:

- INR – 2.2 - which is on the good side of low/normal - perfect for a tooth extraction. It means that I won't bleed a TON before the open wound in my mouth finally shuts down.

- Nervous System – The body seemed well in balance yesterday. No complaints at all. I'm glad I got in the day before the tooth extraction. That will most likely help with my healing time a bit. Too bad my chiropractor is out of the office in two weeks, so we're pushing out my next adjustment to three weeks... I should be pretty out of whack by then... but, who knows... maybe Bran will be home.  :)  I might finally have GOOD news!

- Inflammation – My chiropractor did his normal active release pressure points yesterday, including the extra ones on my right forearm where my inflammation acts up the most. Everything was loose yesterday, which is NICE. Especially given how much RICE I've been eating. My diet has been the opposite of Paleo lately, so it's good that the inflammation doesn't seem to be too bad despite my lack of body care.

Relationships / Family:

- Bran – He didn't get a chance to call me in the morning or during the day yesterday, but last night he got a craving for Dairy Queen, so he gave me a call. Right when I was naked and entangled in SNUGGLES with the Blue Falcon. I put him on speaker phone and they said hi to each to each other too.

I asked him how Plan-A was going, and he said GOOD!

Reminder:

Plan-A is the smoke screen of 'pretending' to exhaust all other housing opportunities up north before pulling the lever on Plan-B. It's essentially stringing the Screeching Harpy along to the last possible minute and then sending her on her way. Yes It's cruel, but it's what needs to happen. Don't worry, she won't be homeless. We already know that her parents will take her in without hesitation. She'll adjust.

Plan-B is when Bran just looks at her, shrugs, and says "It's been real, it's been fun, but it's not been real fun. I got family in the cities and I'll have better opportunities there." And then he packs his shit and comes the fuck home.

Plan-C is 'what happens if Plan-A fails' and somehow, miraculously, she finds them housing up north? From what I understand, Plan-C is the same as Plan-B, it's essentially pulling the same lever.

So, last night I asked him how Plan-A was going and he got all excited because there was shit that he needed to cooperate on and he's NOT cooperating. But as far as she knows, It's the former job that's not cooperating.

So, that made me feel worlds better.

And trust me, she deserves this. This is a karmic backlash that's been building up for like two years. She deserves everything that's about to happen to her.

She'll get through it. She'll adjust. She'll be forced to finally grow the fuck up and stop blaming everyone and everything else for her problems. She'll start taking responsibility for shit and eventually she'll make a better life for herself.

It will be a process, but she needs to rise from these ashes on her own.

And I have zero problem drop kicking her ass right into the flames.

- The Unicorn – Nothing new to report.

Relationships / Sweeties:

[ I took out the section on sweetie bio's, the whole 'sweetie' thing never really worked out. I only ended up with a bunch of one night stands. I'm giving up on sweeties. ]

- Recent Encounters – Nothing new to report.

- Updates on Favorites -  

- Blue Falcon – I love my Blue Falcon so much. I try so hard not to depend on him for too much. But, yesterday I really needed to run to the bank and then load money onto my prepaid credit card so I could take care of some expenses. I was going to completely avoid the fact that I'm in dire need of a grocery shopping trip because I didn't want to cut into cuddle time. But in my head I kept day dreaming about him asking me if I needed to hit the grocery store too.

What does he do? He fucking asks if I need to hit the grocery store too, because he needed to as well. So, I stocked up on some more beans, rice, tuna, and mayonnaise. Just little things to keep me snack happy until I can hit Sam's Club next week.

AND THEN THE CLOTHING WENT BUH-BYE!!

Because the Blue Falcon and I are prize fighting naked cuddlers. It's one of the things I love the most about him. He enjoys that skin on skin contact with me and he never seems put off by my being overweight or about the extra skin left over from when I used to weigh so much more.

We're very comfortable with each other, and I LOVE THE FUCK OUT OF THAT.

We talked about the usual stuff we talk about, catching each other up on what's been going on with us. It's funny, but we laugh about how different our tastes are in entertainment. Like I always need a strong paranormal twist in the shows that I watch and he's pretty die hard Sci-Fi with NO sexy twists at all.  

Just in general, we are two of the most DIFFERENT people you can imagine, and we probably shouldn't get along as well as we do. So, it's a total mystery, but we just love each other's company so much.  

And things did get a little sexy too. At one point he got hard and I massaged his cock a bit. Then he brought it up that I had asked him about fellatio in the past and he asked if I was still interested. He made it very much a 'NO PRESSURE' thing. It wasn't a request. He just wanted to know if that was something I'd like to do with him.

I was all over that!! You know me. I love a good foreplay blow job.

He's not very sensitive, so I knew I needed to keep a lot of pressure going if he was going to feel anything. But I started the way I always do, kissing my way up the shaft from balls to tip. I did the tongue swirl thing a bit too. But then I just focused on this really intense suction and moving my mouth up and down before I got tired.

He liked it.  

He said he felt more with me than he had with others in the past and I told him what I had done differently with him to make that a thing. I think he was amused that I know his body that well and that I took extra care with him, making sure he enjoyed it.

Then we shared chocolate and talked some more. He got a little distant because he got involved in a conversation on Discord. That led to him showing me a funny video, which I enjoyed. Then it was time to get un-naked and hug him goodbye.

I miss him already.

I love him so much.

- Sweeties -

- Bear – Nothing new to report.

Relationships / Just Friends:

Nothing new to report.

Relationships / Potentials and Honorable Mentions:

- The One-Timers – Nothing...

- The Hopefuls - … new to...

- Honorable Mentions - … report.

End Notes:  

I need to get moving...  

I need to finish coffee, get a small meal in, practice oral care...  

Ugh... I don't want to do this!! This is going to be so traumatic.