It is what it is.

So, I’m alone today...  

This is the second Thanksgiving like this.

Bran and I are both estranged from our families, so Thanksgiving has always been just 'us'. We cook a good spread, never get out of our pajamas, and then we just binge watch Netflix all day. It's the most low-stress kind of holiday celebration you can imagine.

So, now he owes me two Thanksgivings because he was supposed to be back by now. If it weren't for the catastrophic mistake he made in waiting too damn long to contact the cable company to set up internet service, he would be back by now. Instead, I'm still alone.

It is what it is.

In other news, I didn't get to start my day with Coffee and Contemplation today. I finished watching The Punisher last night and no new episodes of my regular shows aired last night, so I had nothing to watch this morning. I scanned for new shows and yeah, I could have watched The Runaways, but it's just not capturing my interest. Not yet, anyway.

It is what it is.

And in yet other news, I checked this morning to see if PlutoTV has a Chrome Extension, and it does!! So anytime I just need the background noise of a horror movie while I do my work, I have it now!!  *big smile* Originally I thought this was something I could only do on my tablet, which would have been limited by its shitty battery life. But no! I got it to work on my Chromebook, so all is well!

It is what it is.

Mental Health / Unfuck Yourself:

- Therapy – I can't even begin to express the therapeutic nature of having horror movies on in the background while I do my thing. This will make so much more of my hostile world a survivable place. Sure, I might see some movies repeated, but I can be okay with that. NOW, if I could just work up the mental energy to sit up and knit too! Instead of just laying down in my nest of a squishy bed. If I could net as well then it wouldn't just be therapeutic, it would be meditative as well.

- Writing – Not sure where I am with this or when the writing will come back again. I wish the writing weren't so emotionally sensitive, but it is. There's really nothing I can think of to make it not emotionally sensitive. I think it will get better when Bran is back, though. I think the mental health repair of having him home will make a huge difference.

- Reading – I did get some reading done yesterday. Still just 'MEH' - Hopefully the next books will capture my attention more.

- Sleep / Fitbit – 7 hours 43 minutes, 3x awake, 13x restless, 36 minutes awake/restless - no bad dreams – no good ones either... mostly just a blah night, and I'm okay with that.

- Fur-babies – No visit yet... I'm hopeful that Catmom is already with family for the day. I would hate it if we were both alone for the holiday. Not just because I worry about her, but also because I'm anti-social on holidays and I don't want her trying to do Thanksgiving with me.

Physical Health / Unfuck Yourself:

- INR – 2.5 yesterday, with is dead center perfect, but that also has me worried. I ate a bunch of celery and the Vitamin K should have brought my INR down. Not that I wanted it to come down, but just accepting that as a legit side effect of eating a food so rich in Vitamin K. - So... with my daily dose of rat poison, we've been going back and forth on how many days I take 12.5mg instead of 10.mg. When I was doing the 12.5mg two times a week, my numbers started trending downward. Now that I've been doing the 12.5 three times a week, my numbers are trending upward.  

This means my INR is not going to be stable in the middle with just a standard dose of rat poison. No dose is just going to level it out. It's still going to have to be adjusted on an almost week by week basis and some of those weeks are going to result in my needing another blood draw on top of the finger poke.

In other words: *GRUMP!*

- Nervous System – My adjustments went just fine yesterday. I was tight in a couple of places, but other than that I was okay.

- Weight Management – I've gained two pounds since my last weigh in a month ago. I think I've been indulging in the comfort foods a little too much. This is bad... I'm really not doing okay here.

Relationships / Family:

- Bran – Still nothing out of Bran... this is getting worrisome.

- The Unicorn – I hope she has a good time with family today.

Relationships / Sweeties:

[ I took out the section on sweetie bio's, the whole 'sweetie' thing never really worked out. I only ended up with a bunch of one night stands. I'm giving up on sweeties. ]

- Recent Encounters – Nothing new to report.

- Updates on Favorites -  

- Blue Falcon – He just got a new TV, so he's offered to loan me his old one until Bran gets home, then I'm sure he intends to sell it. But it's still very sweet of him.  :)  He's going to drop it off this afternoon before he heads off to dinner with his family.

- Sweeties -

- Bear – I received a very random cuddle request from Bear early last evening. It was good. He really needed the back rubs, so that's what he got.  

I laid on my back and he laid on his tummy with his head using me as a pillow while I used my soft touch on him. Then after a while he switched to laying on his back with my head on his chest so I could use the soft touch on his chest and tummy.

Then he got me out of my shirt for the skin on skin contact... and then his pants came off. This the first time his cock made its presence known, so it got some loving strokes as well. Then he requested kisses for his little friend and you KNOW how good I am at that. He got a little dominant and pushed my head down a bit, which was fine. I'm always good with a little gentle face fucking.

Jaw fatigues and gag reflexes prevailed and I couldn't keep going, though.

That's when Bear surprised me with a request to get me face down, propped up on my knees.

Normally sex is not a possibility due to blood flow issues. Last night we seemed to get past that. It was good!!

Then more cuddles before he headed home.

We talked a lot about how we're not going to be seeing each other for a while once Bran comes home. I was really glad that for once we got to focus on Bear's pleasure for once!! I felt that was a proper send off for him.

We also agreed that he's going to be fine without me for a bit, and that he has to raise his standards with lovers/mates moving forward. I made him promise me that he wouldn't let anyone take advantage of him anymore. He told me he's going to be a lot pickier.

This is a good thing.

I do love him and I want good things for him. I know we'll stay in touch as friends until we can be lovers again, but I also hope he finds someone soon and that he won't actually need me at all anymore. I would like him to be able to move on without me.

That would be nice.

Relationships / Just Friends:

Based on our chats lately, Pathfinder doesn't seem to be fitting into the 'just platonic' category anymore. He actually told me this himself. He says we're AmbiguSweeties. Or 'Sweeties of an ambiguous nature' where our relationship is just really undefined by proper labels and probably leads to some confusion over where exactly we stand with each other.

I think It's okay, though.

We love each other a lot. We would never wish the other pain. Our love doesn't come with even the slightest hints of jealousy or possessiveness. It just is. It's just this pure desire to see each other well and to possibly fuck each other's brains out on occasion if the opportunities present themselves.

Of course my priority is Bran right now, but it's good to know that I have Pathfinder in my support system.

Relationships / Potentials and Honorable Mentions:

- The One-Timers - Nothing new to report.

- The Hopefuls – It appears that I have a date tomorrow.  

Yeah, I know, timing – right?

This one just slipped under the radar. He was so polite that I kind of took pity on him. And he's not my usual flavor either. He's submissive, but I get what he needs and I see where he's 'partner pleasure' focused to still be aggressive with me because it's what I need.

I won't be sad if he stands me up, though... I'm not sure this is the right time to date anyone new. I might have gotten stupid on this one.

- Honorable Mentions - Nothing new to report.

End Notes:  

So, I have Wishmaster playing in the background right now.

I’m going to do my level best to do some knitting today.