Done. - supplemental

I just sent Bran a long email.

It hurts so much to realize that my safest option might be letting go of him entirely. He's obviously not committed to me as a husband figure, so what's really holding me to the role of wife, anyway?

I still feel serious about him… I think.

I probably just feel serious about the memory of him. Of who he used to be to me before _her_. He hasn't been the same person I fell in love with for a year now… so, what's really holding me to this? Why should I continue to let him hurt me this way.

"What you allow is what will continue."

I'm letting him do this to me. I'm letting him ignore his promises. I'm letting him keep _her_ close. I’m letting him play the role of dutiful husband and father to her and her children while I get what?

A bunch of empty fucking promises.

Words.

It's all just words and intentions with no real follow through.

I think… when he gets back…

I think I should just treat this as 'roommate' and 'sweetie'… He can stay with me until he finds a place of his own. I owe him that much. But, I might not move in with him when he gets his place. I might choose to just stay on my own for a bit longer and let him do the necessary relationship rebuilding.

We need to start over… from dating courtship and on upward.

Being loyal to him is only hurting me.

I need to let this go.