Way too fucking awake...

Still processing this thing with Jasper… ugh… it hurts so much.

I usually rely on the luxury of time and distance to get over something like this and neither are available to me right now because of my vow to be there for him. So, it's best I just get myself another favorite Sweetie as soon as possible.

Fuck, I'm awake early today.

*grump*

Mental Health / Unfuck Yourself:

 - Therapy - I really want to write that Ghost Story about Jasper… I can't seem to get the sexual fantasies out of my mind and I know writing a Ghost Story would help. But, the wounds are still so fresh…

 - Writing - Still closing in on the tail end of the structure research. I'm almost done though. I've started to make these massive spreadsheets to track beats, scenes, and sequels. It should help me sort out all the notes that I've taken and give me a sense of wholeness moving forward.

 - Sleep - I was so happy when I went to sleep last night. For the first time in forever, the neighbors weren't playing their stupid music/TV at top volumes and I even got to sleep decently. Still woke up in the middle of the night for a water refill and to take another sleeping pill.

And then the fuckers started with their top volume bullshit a full hour before the alarm was supposed to go off. 

UGH!! I fucking hate them.

 - Fur-babies - Only the one visit yesterday. Splotches requested some cuddles but Dreamy was more aloof. He laid down in his chair and just snoozed at me.

Physical Health / Unfuck Yourself:

 - Caffeine - Coffee is the new booze. I'm so addicted and well into the day it's all I can think about sometimes.

 - Yoga / Movement Goals - Fuck you.

 - Inflammation - And fuck you again.

 - Weight Management - And, yeah. You guessed it. Fuck you again.

Relationships / Family:

 - Bran - He's barely been checking in lately… not sure what the fuck is up with that.

 - The Unicorn - IEP meeting this week… so, maybe it's good that I got up early today. I'll start adjusting the sleep/wake schedule to accommodate the appointment.

Relationships / Sweeties:

 - Recent Encounters - None - It was supposed to be Jasper's weekend but… yeah…

 - Updates on Favorites - Jasper didn't even check in at all yesterday. And I know it was just work/moving, etc. But, I miss him so much.

*sigh*

Ow.

Relationships / Potentials and Honorable Mentions:

 - The One Timers - Almost had a date late last night… I'm glad it fizzled.

 - The Hopefuls - Some new contacts on OKC… nothing special yet.