On moving on...

I think about the Blue Falcon a lot. This is common for my favorites. Even though he's not responded to my 'thank you' that I wrote him after he came over.

Now, I question. How often should I make contact with him? Every two days? Every three? Four?

Gah…

--

Exchanged messages with the Dragon earlier. He messaged just after 7'ish to see if I was awake. I don't get up until 8, so I missed another chance with him.

*shrug*

Don't get me wrong. I know the Dragon is a good person. But, I question the attachment that I've formed with him. He's always too busy to cash in on that attachment. Now, it's not that I don't understand. I do. But, distance creates exactly that, distance. When he touches base more often, he keeps that worm on the hook. When he lets me go… the worm gets away from him.

This hit or miss thing between us literally has been all MISS for a year now. That may be where my breaking point comes into play. Maybe not. I'm not sure.

Also… I’m so well fed.

Also… I don't have _her_ mucking things up with Bran in my direct sphere. Even though she's still there. Bran knows I need him to get rid of her. Since she's been gone and I've been so well fed. I've needed my attachments less and less. It used to be that the Dragon was my source of strength. He was my happy place that I went every time I was upset. There have been several Ghost Story (not posted, because they're not erotic enough) snippets and 'dialog journals' detailing the way I wish things would work out between the Dragon and I.

I guess… I stopped needing him.

Holy shit… it's probably just my sense of loyalty that's keeping me on that hook. But, even that is beginning to waiver.

Poor Dragon.

*shrug again* Oh well…

He'll move on. He'll find someone else. If it's not me, he will have someone. Of that I am sure.

--

Speaking of Bran.

His goals for being away have been impacted. It's possible that he's set back his return by about another three months.

Much to my surprise. I didn't tell him we'd be done if he didn't come back in the spring.

I, instead, found myself saying "I'm okay if you need to be gone longer, but not with _her_."

I can't possibly make that more clear. He needs to resolve his 'bills' and get her the fuck out of his sphere. She's still tangentially in mine and that's triggering my PTSD.

I'm not sure how much of her I will continue to tolerate.

He needs to fix this.

Our relationship can't afford for him to get too comfortable having her around. Especially when I have literally nothing that he promised me.

Or, maybe I just need to suck it up and move on from Bran too, already.

I don't know.

Gods, I hate this.