Done.

So… I have a date today. And I'm regretting it.

I'm not backing out. This has been a plan for 2-weeks. I wouldn't do that to him. He's processing a very nasty divorce right now and this is a Sweetie who is coming to me for some very serious healing.

It's not his fault that I'm emotionally compromised.

I cried myself to sleep last night.

Bran has broken every promise he made to me regarding what he was going to do to make this separation less painful for me. The worst is the lack of commitment bands. Especially when he's spending all kinds of money on shiny new toys for himself. He keeps telling me 'another few weeks' or 'next bonus check'… and it's all a bunch of bullshit. Just like the way he kept telling me 'another two weeks' when he was supposed to be allowing me to host boys and find the fourth.

I'm done asking for the commitment band.

If he gave it to me now. It wouldn't be a true gift from his heart. It would just be something to shut me up. If he really meant it, I would have it by now. So, I'm done.

It's going to hurt like hell for a few days, but I'm determined to move on from it. If he doesn't care about giving me any sort of symbol of our bond, then why should I?

I’m going to re-step-it-up with my sweeties and get some healing to get me through this. I'm not going to let this take me down.

Fuck him.

I'm done.