I have something on
my mind today… but it will come in at the 'Updates on Favorites' section.
Let's just say that
despite the attention of Cocoa, I'm still worried about where things are
standing with Jasper.
Mental Health / Unfuck
Yourself:
- Therapy - Have
to miss it again, today. Because of the phone issue. Phone is not coming back
any time soon. I've got the $300+ power bull that needs to come first.
- Writing - Tried
to do some story structure research yesterday, but didn't get very far. My
heart wasn't in it. But, I'm okay with that. It got set aside for my date with
Cocoa.
- Fur-babies - I
did get a visit from both Dreamy and Splotches yesterday. Both came up into my
lap to say hello, but neither stayed long. Splotches went home, but Dreamy took
his afternoon nap on top of my kitchen cabinets. All is well on the therapy cat
front.
Physical Health / Unfuck
Yourself:
- Caffeine - I'm
on point with the caffeine. But, I'm NOT sleeping well these days. So, I’m
feeling really sluggish in the mornings.
- Yoga /
Movement Goals - Yeah, I really wish I had better news… for some reason,
my heart just isn't in it anymore. It might be lack of sleep. It might be
depression. It's likely both.
- Inflammation
- Again, I wish I had better news. My Turmeric supply is dwindling, and
my diet is just as terrible.
- Weight
Management - Nothing new to report.
Relationships / Family:
Also… it appears
that he won't be home for 50% of Boxed Chocolates Day.
I’m forgiving him
for this transgression. *shrug* It's just one more bullshit thing that he can't
do with me until he's done being up north. I don't hate him for it. But, I
don't love him for it either. He says he might throw a little $ at me so that I
can at least go shopping for my own treats.
The weather KNEW
this was going to be an issue.
*looks up at the
Powers That Be* Yeah! Don't think I don't see you up there!!
You gave me a mild
February that FEELS like April.
You made it so I
could walk to the store and buy my own dam chocolate.
Thank you. Your
efforts to keep me sane have not gone unnoticed.
- The Unicorn -
Ugh… in 9 days I have to be awake at like 5 in the morning so I can go
to her IEP meeting at 7am. I purposely asked for this too. I knew that having
the meeting in the afternoon would negatively affect her dad at work, and I was
being kind and considerate about this. Not that I get any props for it. But, I
was genuinely trying to be a nice person at my own expense.
*grump*
Relationships / Sweeties:
- Recent
Encounters - This you already know, it was in my supplemental report
last night.
- Updates on
Favorites - I sent Jasper a 'goodnight' message last night… he still
hasn't responded.
I’m genuinely
worried.
I've seen him blow
people off when he wasn't interested in talking to them. I know it's possible
that I've annoyed him, or made him regret his time with me. I also know he'd
eat a bucket of broken glass before he'd ever willingly disappoint or hurt me.
So, that's where the blowing off comes in. He shuts down replies when he
doesn't want to hurt someone.
It's the curse. As
soon as I begin to really love a sweetie, that's when they're done with me.
Don't get me wrong.
His reasons are valid. If I'm only serving as a harsh reminder of how far away
HLS is, then he's not being served by me and he deserves better.
I want better for
him.
I'm not ashamed to
admit that I wish better were me. NOT better than HLS, but at least able to
take his mind off his pain for a little while.
Okay… so, it's not
just HLS, though. He's dealing with work, moving… all kinds of madness. So, I’m
backing off.
I'm going to try to
not say good night to him tonight.
Relationships / Potentials
and Honorable Mentions:
- The One
Timers - Potential.1 from a few nights ago is going to be code named
'Coffee'. It's a good compliment to Cocoa from yesterday. Not sure if I'll hear
from either of them again, but I'm not going to push it either. I know they're
busy too.
- The Hopefuls
- I do have a date later today. First time with someone I met on Fet.
I'll let you know
how it goes.
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