My Invisible Illness is about to be judged...

My date for last night stood me up. I'm okay with this because of how tired I was. It appears that deviating in any way from my regular sleep schedule is enough to seriously throw me off track. I think I’m going to have to start spacing out my dates.

I've had some interest from FetLife, but I'm really not sure how I feel about meeting these people. I think I trust OKC more because so much more is on my profile. I'm able to weed out the jerks and stray penisi.

And…

I'm not sure why I've not mentioned this.

My SSI hearing is in exactly two days, down to the minute.

That's right, 9am, I have to be awake and alive and ready to be judged.

Proving an invisible illness is hard. Just the fact that I can speak from a place of self-awareness… just being articulate and intelligent about my disorder is enough for them to believe that I'm faking.

I’m probably going to lose. So much time wasted trying to prove that I'm sick.

Borderline is hell to live with, and I fucking hate it.

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In other news…

Jasper has been coping with long work days, so there hasn't really been a chance to talk to him about making my non-Unicorn weekends a regular thing. So, I'm just going to leave that weekend reserved for him and hopefully I'll get to see him again. He's a really great guy.

No alcohol this time, though.

I just want to be fully present with him.

I'd also like to hurt him less.

I’m thinking about him a lot.

I really want to see him again.

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BLUE FALCON TOMORROW NIGHT!!