I had a really hard time getting out of bed this morning. I must not have had the most restful nights sleep I guess. It's been really hard to get moving.
I'm trying to get caught up on some TV shows. Found out I don't need a cable provider login to watch stuff on MTV.com, so last night I started watching season 6 of Teen Wolf.
Don't judge me. I actually like the show.
Mental Health / Unfuck Yourself:
- Therapy - I see Valkyrie today. I don't know if I want to waste time talking about my feelings of failure as a mother in regards to not being able to protect the Unicorn from abuse. I've been down that road, I know exactly where it leads.
No, we're probably going to talk about the depression and how the Blue Falcon and Bear have kept it down enough that I'm not getting dehydration headaches from all the crying, but not down enough for me to be writing again.
Other than that, I bet she and I will talk about the upcoming season 13 of Supernatural. I know we're both excited about that. Neither of us were really happy about season 12. The big bad just didn't seem bad enough and then the ending of the season was just one giant ball of 'what the fuck?'
It will be nice to see how they're able to salvage this.
- Writing – Still on hold.
- Reading – I’m still giving Godhunter time to impress me. It's cute and all, but nothing spectacular yet. It's probably enough for me to finish the book, but maybe not yet enough for me to want to finish the series.
- Sleep / Fitbit – The readings are way off again. It's taken my TV time as sleep time, making it seem like I was down for over 13 hours. Nope, not quite!!
- Fur-babies – They haven't come over in forever... not sure what's up with that. It might just be that I'm back in my bedroom with my music going and I don't hear my door anymore. Or it might be that she's using the back door and doesn't bring them by anymore... I don't know.
Physical Health / Unfuck Yourself:
- Blood Sugar – 133 this morning – This isn't good. We've increased the dose of my diabetes medication and it's not effecting my blood sugars one little bit. This may be because of the drug interaction of my anti-psychotic that I use to help me sleep. Bubbles wants me to consider backing off on that, going down to 10mg instead of 20mg... It makes me nervous, but I think that will be okay. I think the Trazadone helps me sleep more anyway... Traz is an anti-depressant that makes me all uncomfortable dizzy/numb, but it gets me down. So, that's something, at least.
- Exercise/Yoga - Ugh... I just don't want to... I don't know what the hell I'm thinking. Part of me wants to spend all this money to get the DDP Yoga DVD's and here I am, unable to even take 20 minutes out of my day to do something for free. Ugh... there needs to be a better way!! Where is my motivation?
*sigh* Maybe when Bran gets home we'll join a gym together and that will help.
Fuck... I don't know.
- Weight Management – I’m pretty sure my latest 'most favorite meal', beans and RICE isn't helping with my weight management. Gods I fucking suck.
Relationships / Family:
- Bran – Rather blissfully, I did get to talk to Bran yesterday. Even though it was his firs day on the new job, he still managed to get away to pick up the elder abomination from day care, so he got to call me. We talked about little shit. It was just good to hear his voice. Mostly he just bitched about how stupid people are. Apparently he's not enjoying the new job at all. The free range stupid is a bit much for him.
He also talks to his landlord today about getting out of his lease. I don't know when I'll get the update on that. Whether I'll hear about it today or tomorrow or next week or whatever. I just hope it's good news whenever I do hear it.
I hope he's able to stabilize his bills and come home soon.
I need to be able to touch him again.
- The Unicorn – I keep reminding myself that kids are resilient, and that spiritually she chose the hard path. I keep reminding myself that letting go was the lesson and that protecting her would have stunted her growth.
It still fucking sucks.
Relationships / Sweeties:
[ I took out the section on sweetie bio's, the whole 'sweetie' thing never really worked out. I only ended up with a bunch of one night stands. I'm giving up on sweeties. ]
- Recent Encounters – Nothing new to report.
- Updates on Favorites -
- Blue Falcon – As if spending two days helping me get a working computer wasn't enough, now I've asked for his help on YET ANOTHER THING!! - The lid to my large pan has popped it's nob and I need the Blue Falcon's screwdriver set to get it back on.
*hangs head in shame*
- Sweeties -
- Bear – Nothing new to report. But I hope I see him this week.
Relationships / Just Friends:
Nothing new to report.
Relationships / Potentials and Honorable Mentions:
- The One-Timers – Nothing...
- The Hopefuls - … new to...
- Honorable Mentions - … report.
End Notes:
I think my life goals for the day aren't going to be very spectacular... it's mostly going to boil down to doing the absolute minimum and then watching more Teen Wolf.
Gods... I fucking suck.
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