Sometimes my life is boring...

Coffee's going to be a bit strong this morning. Last night when I was preparing it, I was down to one scoop left of grounds after putting in my usual three. So I just dumped what was left into the filter... so there's probably 4 to 4.5 scoops in today's batch.

I had good reason for doing this.  

I realized some time ago that I could use the flat blade on my knock off bullet blender to grind coffee beans. No, this has not been tested yet. But, instead of limiting myself to buying the ONLY ground coffee at Sam's Club, the idea opened up a world of opportunity for me, and now I have a bag of Whole Bean VELVET HAMMER that is DYING to be gutted and used.

It smells so fucking good, I'm in pure heaven. It's been a while since I've had velvet hammer.

And yeah, I'm a few sips in now... the coffee is strong this morning, but I can manage.

Yes, I know that's not much of an opener, but it's what I had.  

Sometimes my life is boring, okay?

Mental Health / Unfuck Yourself:

- Therapy – The loneliness is starting to creep in... which is odd because I just fed on Bear 3-4 days ago... I shouldn't be feeling lonely yet. And the only thing I can think of is that my anxiety over Bran is making things difficult for me. So, now I’m waffling... do I suck it up or do I text Bear for a top up?

He would probably prefer if I text him...

Okay, I'll text him.

There, I texted him.

- Writing – Still on hold – But there's no telling what's going to happen here within the next month to two months. If Bran comes home that should end the depression once the survival mode wears off... chances are I should be able to get into writing again. I'll have to take it slow, starting with the 1K a day in Ghost Stories... but then I can begin working on Torvus again once it starts coming back to me...

- Reading – The story I was working on reading wasn't that great. It was the origin story of a heroine from another trilogy, and truth be told, after reading the blurb from the trilogy I probably should have started there. As a standalone, the origin story just wasn't that good and it left me dry with zero desire to read more about that character.   

That being said, I'm willing to bet that book one of the trilogy made it into my Kindle Library somewhere... So, I might be willing to give the series a shot at a later date, but I'm not sure.

I finished reading that after bedtime, though. So, I haven't picked my next victim yet. I should be doing that shortly.

- Sleep / Fitbit – 8 hours 6 minutes, 5x awake, 21x restless, 65 minutes awake/restless - in hindsight I probably shouldn't have imbibed that coke in the afternoon. Stupid caffeine sensitivity.

- Fur-babies – Nothing new to report.

Physical Health / Unfuck Yourself:

- INR – 3.1 - which it shouldn't be! I backed off on the meds last week and even ate some of that hot sauce with the hint of vitamin K in it. There's no reason for it to be that high. So, we're backing off even more... grr... I hate how temperamental INR's can be! They're so unpredictable!

- Weight Management – I'm down 3 pounds from my last weigh in a month ago... it's not much, but given my diet choices and my lack of exercise, it's something...  

Relationships / Family:

- Bran – We talked a little bit yesterday, and I asked him to settle my anxious mind. I asked him if he was serious about coming home being his game plan. He said it is.

He's coming home.

This is his plan.

He's done up north.

He's done with all of it.

Her, the kids, the lack of jobs, the lack of housing, the harsh winter... all of it.  

He's done.

He's coming home.

--

There will still be an adjustment period for both of us. I'm probably going to be Club Med compared to the living situation he's been in for the last year. But me? I'm going to have to get used to sharing my rather small space with another human. His body, his stuff, his dirty socks, his farts, his way of not picking up after himself... Yes, I'm going to be happy to have him back, and I intend to show it, but if there's one thing I know from experience it's that being taken out of survival mode can be just as traumatic as being thrown into it.

There's no telling where my anxieties and temperaments are going to flare up or falter... I know I can be on my best behavior for quite some time, but what happens if I lose too much sleep and I can't control my emotions?

Bridges, though.

Seriously brain.

Shut the fuck up.

- The Unicorn – Nothing new to report.

Relationships / Sweeties:

[ I took out the section on sweetie bio's, the whole 'sweetie' thing never really worked out. I only ended up with a bunch of one night stands. I'm giving up on sweeties. ]

- Recent Encounters – Nothing new to report.

- Updates on Favorites -  

- Blue Falcon – I texted him yesterday to let him know that Bran intends to return home sometime in the next 20-25 days. Of course, the Blue Falcon offered to go up to help him move and stuff. So, I'll be keeping him posted as I learn more the closer we get to Bran's escape date. But that was the extent of the conversation.

I miss the Blue Falcon... I really want snuggles and to get back to watching Supernatural with him.

- Sweeties -

- Bear – Of course, I gave him the heads up too. He said 'Great!' when I told him that Bran is coming home soon. But I felt I needed to reassure Bear that I'm not going to abandon him just because Bran does come home. I'm not going to be taking on any new sweeties, but I'm not going to just drop the ones that I have. That's not me.

He thanked me for letting him know... but that was the extent of the conversation.

Hopefully we get some snuggles in this week.

I need them.

Relationships / Just Friends:

Nothing new to report.

Relationships / Potentials and Honorable Mentions:

- The One-Timers – Nothing...

- The Hopefuls - … new to...

- Honorable Mentions - … report.

End Notes:  

Not a lot to say in closing... I'm just going to post this and get through my coffee... I have to go somewhere with my case worker today, so I need to be awake for that. Then, who knows. I might have the mental energy to read, or I might consign myself to 'attempting' to find a good movie to watch.

I know...  

Finding a good movie is a needle in a haystack these days.