51-days

In my defense, it only took me 51 fucking days this time.

Fifty. One. Days.

Fuck you. I'm on to you.  

I'd say 'you can't beat me, I'm too good at this', and I very nearly just did. But, LOL. I'm not that stupid.

I will give you full fucking points for this one.  

You REALLY had me this time.

Thank you, my beautiful Godz. This last challenge was actually a pleasure.

Confusing as hell... but very lush.

Thank you.

---

Okay, so here's the break down.

We all know how many times I've walked the underworld. We all know how many times I've clawed my way back up out of the abyss and managed to repair my wings and fly away.  

That bitter descent before the next ascension.  

That crumble to ashes before the next rise.

That annoying fucking boss fight before leveling up.

But, let's be perfectly clear on one thing:

If I got sent to the underworld again, I'd be like: "Hey, Bob. What's up, Karen? Is the WiFi password still the same?"  

I'm totally fucking desensitized to this shit.

There is literally nothing more you could do that could possibly hurt me more than I've already been hurt.

So, come on... fucking bring it... give me your worst. I dare you.

LOL – and you said "Challenge Accepted!"

Only you didn't bring me pain.

You didn't throw me in the fire to see if I'd still burn.

It wasn't my ability to hurt that you were after this time.

It was my ability to love.

Could I love through the worst of my pain?

Could I love past the deepest of my scars?

Could I feel something for someone again, far beyond my logical reason to explain those feelings?

Could I tolerate the confusion those sudden and strange emotional attachments would bring me?

The answer turned out to be YES to all of the above.

And now I know that I didn't just level up, I'm pretty sure I've beaten this game and it's time to wait and see if there's a sequel.

It's still going to be a struggle to cope with these emotional attachments for awhile. But, now that I know the main reason for their existence in the first place, I think I'll be able to get a better grip on it.

Still...

51-days.

Even I'm impressed by that.