I normally stay out of Facebook warfare

I seriously debated doing Coffee and Contemplation this morning because Bran is already off to work and the Unicorn is still asleep... but, with my luck, she'd wake up right in the middle of it and then today's entry would be fucked, so... here you have it. Groggy me. *sip*

I'm really surprised at how snarky I've been lately. I've been opinionated and I've spoken my mind too. This isn't how I usually operate. I normally stay out of Facebook warfare and just have my conversations in private with Bran. But, like I said, ever since I stood up to JerkDad, I've been a different person.

I like the new me.

Last night I was confronted by two of my most loved acquaintances. A man in my local community and a man I've known since high school. I respect both of these men greatly and we just happen to come down on opposite ends of this debate.  

I held my ground.

I didn't think I could, but I made my point.  

I do understand their positions and for the most part I think their arguments are sound as well. Honestly we're arguing about two entirely different things, so it's a little moot anyway.  

I guess the arguments themselves aren't really the point I'm trying to make here.

It's the fact that I said something.

I didn't back down.

I didn't crumble.

My intense fear of confrontation didn't cripple me.

I was okay.

Really!!

(angel)

Mental Health / Self-Care:

- Therapy – 51-days – It's the holding back there that's the really hard part. And I seriously can't tell if it's a Borderline thing or not, but I feel like my attentions aren't wanted, so I'm making this intense effort to NOT make contact. No Facebook 'likes', and especially no engaging in private messages.

Oh... but I want to make contact, though.

I want it to all be okay...  

I want to have some shred of hope that I could somehow be included in a life well lived. I don't need much, really. Just enough to feed what the 51-days forced on me.

But, I think giving some space is what's needed here.

I have a date on my calendar of wen it might be safe to reach out again...

So stupid, I know.

- Writing – Nothing new to report.

- Reading - Nothing new to report.

- Yarn Therapy - Nothing new to report.

- Sleep / Fitbit – 6 hours 37 minutes, 3x awake, 10x restless, 30 minutes awake/restless - I already feel much better than I did yesterday. I know I'll be able to at least get some knitting done!!

- Fur-babies – GOOD VISIT!! Splotches came and cuddled TWICE and that's like an almost never thing. Dreamy sacked the fuck OUT. Catmom had to call back twice before she could come and get him.

Physical Health / Unfuck Yourself:

- Aquatic Therapy – I do need to schedule more appointments. My trainer is out for a couple of weeks, but someone else might be able to squeeze me in somewhere. I'll be happier once I get back with her, though. She was really easy to work with. That's not to say I won't like any of the other trainers... it's just that I really liked her a lot.  

It's going to be interesting to see if I feel like shit for 2-3 days after my next session, though...  

It isn't inflammation. I mean, my back does hurt and I have some tight muscles that I might not have realized I was working in the water, but, it isn't inflammation, and that's the important thing.  

If it's just the normal reaction of a mostly sedentary body getting a good workout and then looking up and asking 'what the fuck did you do, woman?' then that's FINE. I can live with that. The body will adapt in time.  

It isn't inflammation.

That means I can still do it, and I have a clear way to get healthier now.

Relationships / Family:

- Bran – I’m handling the weekend job better this time... last weekend it was a little rough. I missed him too much, but I seem to be okay today.  

I also got treated to some Mo last night.  *smile!*

Always a good thing.

- The Unicorn – Holy fuck... we are DEVOURING our shows!! We're already over halfway through Season 4 of Supernatural and we just started Fate Apocrypha last night. Next Anime after this is Sailor Moon, and if Hulu still has it I'm going to shoot for Dead Like Me. Otherwise I don't know what live action show we're going to go after because everything else I know is a little too adult for the Unicorn, yet.

Maybe BattleStar Galactica?

Fuck, I don't know.

Relationships / Sweeties:

- Updates on Favorites -  

- Blue Falcon - Nothing new to report.

- Sweeties -

Nothing new to report.

 - AmbiguSweeties -

 - Pathfinder – He got a good chuckle out of some of my snark. It was cute.  :)

- Never Enough – He's not okay. Situational mental health issues and situations that are going to require a lot of attention before they're going to resolve. Add in a major life decision that was clearly made too soon, and now there's a sea of regret floating around that. *sigh* Most of this isn't his fault, but on that last one I think even he knows that he should have known better, but it's too late now and he's stuck.

He's not okay.

I'm helping as much as I can.

Relationships / Just Friends:

I don't think I lost the friendships that I debated with last night... these aren't people I hang with anyway, but I do love and respect them, so it would be sucky if they didn't want to speak to me anymore. I think they're both more mature than that. I mean, yeah, all adults here. I don't think less of them for their stands, so I don't think they think less of me for mine.

I'd just hate to lose them.

Fear of abandonment, you know?

End Notes:  

Okay, entry written!! Not even finished with coffee 1 of 3 yet. Still have the proofread, artwork selection, blog post, and social media blast to go... but, yeah...

#YarnSlut today.

I need it.

--

UPDATE: Unicorn came in during the proofread! - I was lucky I skipped Coffee and Contemplation!