A minute can feel like days...

Ever have one of those days where you're caught up in your own muck until the moment when you remind yourself to take a step back and gain some perspective on the whole situation?

I don't know if it's just a Borderline thing because of the emotional intensity or not. I mean, we feel SOOOOOO much, that maybe that just extends the feeling of time passing somehow?

A minute can feel like days... because we experience several days' worth of emotion all at once?

I don't know.

But, then that step back is taken and you realize It's really only been days. Or like, two-weeks, or something and you're like FUCK! I thought it was longer than that!

And then you figure out that's why everyone else isn't as agitated about things. It's because they don't feel that same passage of time so intensely... perhaps?

I don't know.

*sigh*

I’m okay...  

Really.

Just struggling to keep my senses of emotional distance and radical acceptance.

Not always an easy task.

Mental Health / Self-Care:

- Therapy – I've come to the conclusion that my current emotional state is something that I need to keep entirely to myself right now. I don't believe that anyone else would understand. Not even Valkyrie or Bran. Everything I’m feeling and every action that I'm taking would only come across as unhealthy, when really I’m just testing myself and my limits.

I do this from time to time.

I see an internal weakness or something in my character that needs strengthening and I just go for it... I face my fears via the emersion technique.  

I've gotten over some pretty radical shit this way.

To the outside observer, though... it's going to seem like I've totally lost control.

Relax.

I got this.

- Writing – Yeah, so that Ghost Story totally fell apart after the shower scene and I just figured out why. The story is very D/s, but in a way that I've never explored before, or even hoped to explore.  

This is all so new to me.

I can write from the perspective of someone who is Dominant as a nurturer, because of how well I relate to that role in a relationship. But, in this story, the transition to being sexually submissive is in virgin territory. One I’m not familiar with at all. So, the story fell apart because I simply didn't have the experience level that I need to draw from.

I think it might be time to switch back to some dialogs... just focus on the seductions? -- I don't know...  

I'm going to have to take the plunge eventually.

I'm just not sure how.  

Yet.

- Reading – Right now the knitting means more than anything to me – I canceled my Kindle Unlimited subscription. I'm not using it and that gives me an extra $10 a month that can hopefully buy more yarn.

Yarn needs to be a thing.

- Yarn Therapy – Progress report puts Spiritual ripples at about mid-calf.  

Estimated cost on the Magic Hippo Dance yarn + shipping and handling was $16, bumped up to $20 just in case the order qualifies me for a discount/upsell. I want to get those out of the way because, yeah! Magic Hippo Dance! - and then the Black Corset's are crucial. - So, once the MHD and BC yarn is acquired, SR's will be put on the back burner. It's just the way it is.

- Sleep / Fitbit – 6 hours 25 minutes, 4x awake, 12x restless, 48 minutes awake/restless - all good.

- Fur-babies – Nothing new to report.

Physical Health / Unfuck Yourself:

Nothing new to report.

Relationships / Family:

- Bran – Morning cuddles...  

*swoon*

- The Unicorn – OMG... JerkDad... There may be one tiny little decent part of me that wants to tell him to remember to hit 'reply all' instead of just 'reply' on these group emails to schedule the Unicorn's IEP...  

Yeah...  

But, the rest of me just makes damn sure that I'm the last one in the email chain before he gets a chance to send his.

Sorry, NOT SORRY!

… fucking idiot...

Relationships / Sweeties:

- Updates on Favorites -  

- Blue Falcon - Nothing new to report.

- Sweeties -

Nothing new to report.

 - AmbiguSweeties -

 - Pathfinder - Nothing new to report.

- Never Enough - Nothing new to report.

Relationships / Just Friends:

A beloved friend and I had a Facebook exchange last night. We reaffirmed our love for each other despite our differences over current issues. It was a good exchange. I'm glad to know that we're still friends. I needed that.

End Notes:  

I have a fuck-ton of housework today... but I'm going to see if I can possibly push a Ghost Story a bit...