I'm afraid this fire isn't going out anytime soon.

I've been in some weird places over the last 24-48 hours. My logic knows what I should do. My emotion has a mind of its own. It's annoying, confusing, tear-jerking, and all out making me feel like an idiot with no self-control.

I guess I just have to be forgiving with myself. It's a Borderline thing, you know? These intense emotions that provoke irrational action. I have to be able to radically accept the fact that the emotions are there and I have to deal with them. Sometimes that means accepting the fact that I will occasionally relapse and they will take over for a bit.

My logic knows everything is as it should be.

Eventually that rationality will seep into my emotions.

It's just that Borderlines are so intense, and the more intense the emotions are, the longer they burn.

*sigh*

I'm afraid this fire isn't going out any time soon.

I just have to keep trying harder to shut the fuck up about it.

Mental Health / Self-Care:

- Therapy – I'm looking forward to seeing Valkyrie tomorrow. I mean, I always look forward to seeing her, so I realize that's not saying much. I want to tell her all about my wacko idea for the Aquatic Therapy Leg Warmers. I also want to tell her about Bran and I setting an actual bedtime and how I expect that to help me in many aspects. There's also this beautiful stray I know that found a forever home. I couldn't take it in, and I felt pretty bad about that, so I'm happy that it's safe, warm, happy, and loved.

- Writing – Nothing new to report.

- Reading - Nothing new to report.

- Yarn Therapy – I'm really hoping that the newly regulated sleep cycle will have me finishing up Misha soon!! Because Aquatic Therapy, and BonBon Waffles...  

- Sleep / Fitbit – I was in bed for 8.5 hours (go me!!) but the actual break down of sleep is 6 hours 49 minutes, 4x awake, 21x restless, 56 minutes awake/restless... I do still feel a little better today, though.

- Fur-babies - Nothing new to report.

Physical Health / Unfuck Yourself:

Nothing new to report.

Relationships / Family:

- Bran – So, the big news is that we've set a bedtime, and the bigger news is that it's the exact bedtime that my circadian rhythm is already set to. So, give it a few weeks and I should be feeling MUCH better!!

Oh... last night he finally worked on those really sore spots between my shoulder blades too. I still hurt, but it's a little better. So, I'm very thankful.

We're mutually hopeful that my neurologist will be able to refer me to an insurance covered massage therapist if these symptoms persist.

- The Unicorn – Typical Unicorn weekend... I was kinda fucked up on the sleepies and headachy stuff, though... other than that, all good. - Just today, though, I was able to connect with Mass Mutual.  

Recently the Unicorn took their FutureSmart course in school. It teaches them about ounds financial management and future planning. I was looking for a way to help her retain the information. There was no direct contact information, so I tweeted them. They tweeted back right away and told me there's a phone app!! So, I'll be setting the Unicorn up with that and nudging JerkDad to make sure she plays with it too.

Relationships / Sweeties:

- Updates on Favorites -  

- Blue Falcon - Nothing new to report.

- Sweeties -

Nothing new to report.

 - AmbiguSweeties -

 - Pathfinder - Nothing new to report.

Relationships / Just Friends:

Nothing new to report.

End Notes:  

Not sure how the rest of the day is going to play out yet... I'm still thinking I should take it easy and make sure It's mostly #NapAttack and #YarnSlut.

I think that's a good plan.