The integrity of my 3D Unicorn Mug has been called into question.

It's been a fairly good start to the morning so far. Way better than yesterday!

Bran put in a concerted effort to get us to bed on time... we still failed, but we were better than a 2-3am level fail. I was a bit, *ahem!* occupied, until nearly bedtime. Then I still needed a shower and food. So, I claim my part in the responsibility there.  

He also promised to oil me down a bit and to try to get more of those knots out of my back and shoulders.

Ugh... hurt like a son-of-a-bitch, but I believe he was met with some success.

Sleep seemed good.

Snoozed at least one alarm... and then accidentally hit 'dismiss' instead of 'snooze' on the next one... YIKES! Woke up a half hour later.  

I checked my calendar, though... The main thing I have today isn't until 3pm with an estimated hours' worth of travel time to get there via taxi. It's the Unicorn's IEP meeting. So, even if I see my caseworker today, that's still enough time to get shit done.

So, today I actually felt comfortable waking up with some Coffee and Contemplation & Yarn Therapy... I haven't done that in about a week.  

It was nice.

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Unrelated Side Note: The integrity of my 3D Unicorn Mug has been called into question. I need to find a food safe ceramics sealant... the paint of my beloved coffee delivery system is chipping along the rim near the tail. *pout*.

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I have some more stuff in my head that I want to try to get out today/tonight. I just hope I have enough time/energy/privacy to do it.

It felt good to finally get some of it out last night.

It's been churning in my brain for so long...

Mental Health / Self-Care:

- Therapy – It's getting harder and harder to tell where my mental state is. Some days I'm getting knocked the fuck down with a heavy case of the 'do nothinging's', and that seems to be one part depression and one part migraine/stress-tension/ouchie. I think the depression is that mind war of the body trying to cope with the sensation of chronic pain. I've been there before.

Then, of course, there's that other place that my mind keeps going to... no matter what I have going on at the time. I could be engaged in a conversation, a TV show, or trying to exercise, and it's just right there... is it a happy place? Sure. Or is it pure obsession? Yeah, maybe that too.

Whatever it is, I can't fight it, and I can't really tell if it's healthy or not. It just keeps overtaking me, but it feels really good when it does.

Addiction?

Possibly...

- Writing -  So, it's about fucking time. Very related to where my mental state has been, a Ghost Story finally started spinning out of this one. But, don't look for it on Baphomet Called. This one is a Private Reserve Ghost Story only available upon request and only after a very stiff agreement that it won't be shared. I need to mitigate my risks here.

And for the first time in a very long time, this is an original grade of Ghost Story.

This isn't just some writing prompt erotica that I'm throwing words at to keep my writer muscles from going into atrophy.

This one is born out of raw desire... it's pure, unrequited, desperate need.

This is me.

This is how and why I write.

When something is missing, I make myself a character in a story and I grant that wish.

Usually that quenches the fire because it gives me some sense of satisfaction and completion. I'm so emotionally tied to the story and I have such a vivid imagination. I can make it feel real to me. I can make it seem like it really happened.

Then I can get the fantasies out of my head a bit.

I can set myself free.

For a while.

- Reading – Nothing new to report.

- Yarn Therapy – Got a little ways in... not sure how much more will be done today with the Ghost Story in the works.  

- Sleep / Fitbit – 6 hours 17 minutes, 3x awake, 16x restless, 40 min awake/restless - was in bed around 1am... like I said, better than 2 or 3.

- Fur-babies – Good visit from both Dreamy and Splotches last night. The Unicorn and I even got Splotches to cuddle a bit. I've been trying to teach the Unicorn how to pick Splotches up so that his chest and forepaws are resting over her shoulder, but, bless her, she just can't get it right, LOL.

The little things we take for granted.

Physical Health / Unfuck Yourself:

- Aquatic Therapy – Last night Bran saw that I'd marked down Aquatic Therapy as Magic Hippo Dance in my notes. He got a good belly chuckle out of that one. He tried to blame Fantasia, but that's not it. He was very disappointed in me after that.

Relationships / Family:

- Bran – I guess the good part about Coffee and Contemplation is that it does stretch out my morning a bit and I get to my entry a little later while he's already at work. More privacy and ability to concentrate that way...  

… something for me to think about.

- The Unicorn – We murdered the hell out of Season 4 of Supernatural last night before she went back home to JerkDad's. Then I also remembered that Heroes is a GREAT show!! So, that got added to the list.  :)

Relationships / Sweeties:

- Updates on Favorites -  

- Blue Falcon - Nothing new to report.

- Sweeties -

Still haven't dumped Bear yet.

I haz an ashamed.

:(

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Tapped The Giver last night to let him know that I'm free this coming Saturday during the day. Because this needs to be. It's simple, I told Bran I needed to start banging a masseuse so I could get some relief and almost right after that The Giver tapped in. So, yeah, making this a thing.

 - AmbiguSweeties -

 - Pathfinder – He checked in on me last night. He wanted to know if I was okay because he'd seen some of my Facebook rants. I explained my position on the whole Gun Control thing. I guess he doesn't share my views either, but he didn't get into that.

Then he asked me to not be so damn vague about the 51-days, so I told him the whole story and he empathized. He has the link to the Ghost Story now... I left off just as the shower scene was wrapping up.

- Never Enough - Nothing new to report.

Relationships / Just Friends:

Not sure if my last rant shut anyone up or not, but I'm hoping that was the last word on the matter.

End Notes:  

Coffee's done...  

I need to put big girl pants on now.

There's an achievement award ribbon for that, right?