The Spoons say sleep...

Wow, I'm getting to this LATE today.

I had so much piled up on my to-do list because it's been a busier than normal week. This is killing me too, because it's like, nap time, and my body knows it. But I'm going to push through. As long as I get a little downtime before the Unicorn shows up, I'm good.

Anyway... I'm tired. So, I'm not sure you can expect a lot of deep thoughts out of me today.

The Spoons say sleep.

Mental Health / Self-Care:

- Therapy – I'm blocking out times to work on those Mental Health Pages. Expect those to be a slow process to. It's going to take some time to get everything down and pretty. It's not like a blog entry. I want the information to be a resource that people can really turn to for help when they need it.

- Writing – Nothing new to report.

- Reading - Nothing new to report.

- Yarn Therapy – I'm now looking at adding in the cost of the Aquatic Therapy Leg Warmer yarn. This is getting expensive.

- Sleep / Fitbit – 5 hours 35 minutes, 1x awake, 13x restless, 34 minutes awake/restless.

- Fur-babies – I said no to Cat Therapy last night. Not because I didn't want Dreamy, but because I didn't want to deal with Catmom. I was just in the NopeZone.

Physical Health / Unfuck Yourself:

- Blood Sugar – I actually checked this morning. It was 132 – It's only 12 points over normal range. Also, during my diagnostic* yesterday I told my Aquatic Therapist that my Post Meals were running at about 165 and she thought that was amazing... so, I guess I'm doing okay.

 - Exercise/Yoga - *Right, so it turns out yesterday involved no actual time in a pool. It was just a diagnostic to find out if Aquatic Therapy might be right for me. According to my Aquatic Therapist, I'm a top of the line, excellent candidate. And on we merrily go.  

I'll probably have to change 'Exercise/Yoga' to 'Aquatic Therapy' soon.

Relationships / Family:

- Bran – This was one of those mornings where I didn’t have to be somewhere today. So I didn't get up at 8am to try and fit all my administrative tasks in before leaving for my appointment. This meant sleeping in until his alarms went off.

This meant waking up cuddling him.

He is my happy place.

*heart*

- The Unicorn – Looking forward to this weekend. I just need to remember to ask her about this concert in March.

Relationships / Sweeties:

- Updates on Favorites -  

- Blue Falcon - Nothing new to report.

- Sweeties -

Nothing new to report.

 - AmbiguSweeties -

 - Pathfinder - Nothing new to report.

- Cuddle Crush – Okay... I think once I talk to Valkyrie about this, she'll agree that I'm in a much healthier head space here. Not sure what to tell Bran yet... I think I just need to wait for it to unfold. He has to see this in action and realize that things are okay.

Granted, it's Bran, and he'd be just as good letting me fall flat on my face if things weren't okay. So... there's that.

Anyway...  

Radical Acceptance Time:

My feelings for Cuddle Crush aren't going anywhere, and I need to be at peace with that. It's just as detrimental for me to keep fighting them as it is for me to give into them (at the moment). I need to just deal with the fact that I want her and I will always want her until this plays out the way it's meant to play out.

The thing is... wanting her as much as I do... all this intimate, passionate, sensual (but not sexual) desire... that doesn't mean I HAVE to have her right now. I'm still 100% aware of how much of a threat I am to her wellbeing if I get involved with her /now/.

And see, that's the thing.

Most people can only think in the short term. See. Want. Take. Have. Get Bored. Leave. Destroy.

Relationships are checkers and once they're kinged they're gone.

That's not the way I operate. That's not the way I have to operate.

I can hold back and wait until it's safe for her. I can protect her from me until there's no longer a reason to.

It's all about the long game.

This is Star Trek tri-level chess, and I don't intend to lose.

Relationships / Just Friends:

Nothing new to report.

End Notes:  

Nap soon.