You give me Godiva and I'll work it like it bought me jewelry.

The hard water in my apartment outright murdered my coffee maker yesterday morning. I spent the whole day in a haze of brain fog and pain.

I can't wait to see this neurologist on the 26th, because this headache really isn't going away. Some days it's less there than others, but other days it really makes itself known.  

The tension in my back likes to make itself known too. Also, after my workout on Thursday, my left shoulder, all the way down the scapula... it's all tense and sore.

My chiropractor just hired a massage therapist... omg... the man is... I mean... his picture... yeah... I just... he made my pussy clench. So, whether it's a referral/recommendation from the neurologist or something else, I'd like to try to see him about this headache related stress/tension.

Bran was a total sweetie, though.

After he got off work yesterday he picked me up and we went coffee maker shopping. I picked out three that were workable for my situation. Wants laid out by price, low, medium, high. I was trying to talk him into the middle ground one, because that would at least have me mostly happy.

Then he kept looking at the higher end one and debating how much he loved me.

Then he noticed that the higher end one was on sale for the same price as the medium one, and there we had it. I have a new coffee maker. Nothing super fancy. Just a programmable drip, but this one sprays the water more evenly over the grounds so you get a richer coffee experience.  

I can live with that.

Then Bran had to go and be all magnificent and shit.

He decided to ask if any valentines chocolate was on sale.

I found a hart shaped box of mother fucking GODIVA!!

I held it up and he said 'Done.'

In the cart it went.

I've always said it...

You give me Godiva and I'll work it like it bought me jewelry.

Mental Health / Self-Care:

- Therapy – Yes, I still think about it.

The 51-days revelation did nothing to change how I actually feel.

My logical mind can separate fantasy from reality, and my physical self would never interfere with a life well lived.

But, it's a Borderline thing... my emotions are simply incapable of registering that same separation... and I've been very... very naughty in my more dreamlike states.

- Writing – Nothing new to report.

- Reading - Nothing new to report.

- Yarn Therapy - Nothing new to report.

- Sleep / Fitbit – 6 hours 12 minutes, 5x awake, 8x restless, 22 minutes awake/restless.

- Fur-babies – There were visits and kitty kisses.

Physical Health / Unfuck Yourself:

Yeah... not so much...  

Relationships / Family:

- Bran – We both had a mini-bout of insomnia at 5:30 this morning. There were some snuggles and then I was able to convince him to close his eyes and go back to sleep. He's resting well now, which makes me very happy. I don't want him on his feet all day on poor sleep.

- The Unicorn – We talked for like, 2-hours when she got here last night!! She had so much to tell me.  

I also updated her on my finding the FutureSmart app for her phone. We talked about the stress relief assignment she did for school.

My favorite part about that is that her school acknowledges that mental health is important enough to teach it in class, which makes it academic. That suddenly makes it important to Jerk Dad because he's so insistent that she do well in school in order for him to look good as a parent. *cough!*narcissist*cough!* - So, now that mental health is a school sanctioned subject... he HAS to admit that it exists. It's a real thing.

HAH! Take that, Fucker!

Beyond our good talk and an episode of Supernatural, though, I wasn't able to do much with the Unicorn last night... she understands... this headache is really fucking with me.

Hopefully, it will be better today.

Relationships / Sweeties:

- Updates on Favorites -  

- Blue Falcon - Nothing new to report.

- Sweeties -

Nothing new to report.

 - AmbiguSweeties -

 - Pathfinder - Nothing new to report.

Relationships / Just Friends:

LOL, my Bestie saw my post on Facebook about the 51-days thing and demanded to know more... so I pointed her to the blog entry, but I doubt she could make much sense of it. I'm good at covering up all the details and just leaving enough out there to get the broad strokes if anyone's been paying attention this long.

Really, my biggest fear is that the subject behind 51-days is a real person who could find this blog and think I'm being some creepy, stalker chick.

I won't deny some Facebook stalking, but that's just so I can check in and make sure that all is well. It's not like I’m darkening doorsteps with a dozen black roses and a bottle of chloroform.  

I've let it go in the physical sense... it's just my heart that's hanging on and being all wistful and shit.

I'm sure the emotions will fade over time... it's just the Borderline intensity that keeps feeding into it right now. Eventually I'll find a better distraction and it will be fine.

End Notes:  

I’m genuinely hoping that being properly caffeinated will leave me better able to face the day today. The Unicorn has a 3-day weekend, so all that housework I was saving up till Monday? Yeah, I might as well just try to get that shit done today.

Plus some meal prep, I think.

I have some mushies that I don't want to go bad.